How to Annoy People

Dating

I am so sorry I havn't updated in a while. Please forgive me my lovelies! Pwetty Pwease????? THANKYOU!!!! I don't really have any ideas for this chapter so please forgive me for not having any funny content. And thank you to those who have supported this 'book thing'. Greatly appreciated.

Anyway, I was thinking of doing, "What our food does to us!" chapter. Doesn't sound funny? Well, prepare to be proved wrong! :) :) :)

Carrots- We all know the saying, 'Carrots make you see better'. Well, what if, carrots were really just orange aliens from the centre of the earth and they get us to eat them and then take over the world by harvesting our bodies into little human sacks...... What if they plan to take away our CACTI!

No? Okay, I'll stop. Anyway, I have a story to tell all you lovely people. About a month ago, I was diagnosed with a terrible disease. It took over my mind. It was called realization-stupidity- itis. I will tell you the story, but you have to promise that you won't tell anyone. Not a soul. Get it? Got it. Good. (I have no idea where this reference is from) I had always thought that a gold coin was made of gold, and vice versa with silver coins. So I was always confused when my mother would sell off her gold earrings for hundreds of dollars. I always thought that if a pair of gold studs was worth hundreds of dollars than why was a huge coin, in comparison to the earrings, only worth one dollar? Yeah, well I asked my parents that question, and let's just say that I probably sounded really dumb. So, now I know that gold and silver coins are mainly metal tht is painted gold and silver. I feel so ripped off as well. I was actually planning on going to a gold- jewellery- cash- converter thing to see if I could change a dollar coin for one dollar. So yea. My stupidity is solved. Yay, -_-.

Last week, I was writing an email to a school for an assignment. I think that one of my friends might remember this, but as I was writing, I came across a word that I didn't know how to spell, so I asked the question, " How do you spell 'muchly'?" Well, it turned out, much to my surprise, that the word didn't exist. How, fascinating. -_-

Now, enough about me. I just had an idea, 5 things to do on your first date that will ensure that you will definitely get a second date. Just maybe not with the same person. Ahem, ANWAY, here y'all go!

1. Bring your mom. We all want our parents approval of who we are going to marry. So bring her with you, three's definitely not a crowd. AND, you don't have to worry about the awkward meetings for when you want your partner to meet her at home. Think of it as saving fuel. And money. And time. Most importantly time.

2. Grill her. Not literally of course. Unless you are actual cannibal Shia Lebouf (sorry). The best thing to get to know someone on their first date is to ask them hundreds of question. That are private. Really private. Like, are you on your period? What does your neck taste like? What does your grandma do? Do you have any strippers in your family?

3. Show up half an hour late. Girls (and guys) just absolutely love it when they may have to fight for your partner. It gives them a sense of machoness. (Nachoness...... I am so hungry)

4. TALK IN TEXT TALK.

"Hey babe, sorry I was late."

"Like. Hashtag forgived. Y U L8?"

"Um what?

5. Be too creepy. I am naturally creepy but I get that fact out of the way first. Main reason most people are scared by me. But do get really creepy. Girls and guys just absolutely love uniqueness. Here is an example to definately get you a second date.

"Hey babe. It's great to finally meet you! But I want to get this out of the way first. I like kids, Like, I really, really, really, like kids." This should be followed by a pedo smile.

Today's video is of a song/chant that I found by randomly clicking on things on Youtube. I am not too addicted but I really love this chant/song thing. Enjoy!