Close The Door

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I knew Jones Beach wasn't too far from the restaurant, so that's where I went. I plopped right on the sand and watched the waves crash against my feet. 

I missed coming here with my grandma. She was the only person that let me dance. We'd run through the beach and dance with the waves until our feet hurt. And afterward, she'd bathe me and we'd watch the craziest R-rated movies. 

But Grandma got too old to go to the beach. And then, my grandma died. 

That woman loved the sea. She would bring me to the beach every weekend. We could talk for hours about nothing. When she died, my whole family was devastated. 

Everyone broke a little. Even Winnie. He was too little to remember all their bonded moments, but he understood he lost his grandma. I think death at a young age changes a kid's perspective, I think that's what made him this way. 

The sound of seagulls flying around just made me forget. I watched the waves and felt water on my face. It wasn't from the ocean, it was tears. I wiped them away and it slowly turned into a sob. I cried so hard that night because I felt alone. 

Just as I was considering forgiving my mother, and possibly mending a relationship, she died. And the only brother I have is some twisted man who's on a murdering spree. I don't know if he'll try to kill my other grandma, or me. But it doesn't help that I'm here alone. 

So as the sun rose I picked up my phone to see thirty-five missed calls. They were from various members, and Cheol and Aisha. But none from Hyunjin. 

He knew where I was because one second I was looking at my phone, and the next second he was looming over me with tired eyes. 

I mumbled, "You should get some rest, you have a performance tomorrow." 

"You mean today? It's five AM Y/N. You ran off and freaked everyone out. Everyone is looking for you. Fuck Y/N! You can't just do shit like this! I thought you ran!" 

I listened to his shaky panicked voice. I could tell how worried he was. I didn't even notice how worried he's been for me. I mean, I guess I haven't been a good friend, and I've been isolating myself lately, but can you blame me? Who wants to be around a sulker all the fucking time. 

Hyunjin sat down with a huff and said, "I remembered you'd come here with your grandma. At least that's what you told me. I gave you enough time to think and cry like I can tell you've been doing, so don't even try to deny it. What was with that phone call?"

I looked at the sea and felt the strong wind blow the braids out of my face. I glanced at Hyunjin poking his hand in the sand as he doodled something. 

I let out a long sigh, "I just don't want to talk about it. Okay?" 

"Was it your brother?" 

"Hyunjin." 

He heard how stern my voice got, and laid off. "Can you just promise me something?" I bit my lip and turned to him. "Promise me you won't run away like this? I thought we were close. I felt left behind, in the dark... and... you're one of my closest friends. There's nothing superficial between us, and there's no fascination with me being famous, it's just us. I love and care for you like a little sister, so please..." He started to tear up and I offered him a hug.