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One thought replayed itself relentlessly while his legs uselessly stumbled forward as Eddy dragged him out of the concert hall into backstage.
What the fuck is going on?

This was not keeping distance. This wasn't ignoring or not talking to each other. Eddy's hand clenching his arm was like a lock, impossible to break out of even if he tried. His grip cut off Brett's blood flow, thankfully short fingernails digging themselves into Brett's flesh. It burnt. It hurt.

It took two flights of stairs and a long hallway until Eddy's long, fierceful strides came to a halt. He swung the smaller around, causing Brett's back to hit the wall and all the air leaving his lungs. Not that there had been much oxygen left to begin with. Brett's eyes widened even further when Eddy's right arm shot forward, locking him in-between the taller and the cool stone behind him. He almost didn't dare and yet, he could do nothing else than look up into Eddy's wild, furious eyes.
"What...", he stuttered breathlessly.
"What the fuck is going on, Brett?"
They had to be closed in in their own bubble, because there was no way no one had just heard Eddy's yell.
Brett gulped while the exact same question shot through his head for the nth time.
"What do you... what do you mean?"
Eddy wildly gestured at him.
"You! This! Why the hell do you play like that? And since when have you stopped eating? You look worse every time I see you and this was NOT the fucking idea!"
Brett blinked. Confused didn't even begin to describe his state of mind.
"I... I have no idea what you're hinting at."
Eddy dropped his head in frustration, his top hair tickling Brett's nose. "You have... you know exactly what I mean! You fucking blacked out two days ago. You're not eating and yeah, I noticed! Everyone who isn't blind has and what was that seconds ago? Getting dizzy during your solo? Brett, you can't fucking do that! You won the competition, don't you get it? This is a huge opportunity and you're just throwing it away!"

Slowly, like maple sirup dripping out its tree, Eddy's words seeped into Brett's consciousness. Piece by piece clicked together into a giant puzzle while at the same time, a hot ball of anger started to grow exponentially and dangerously somewhere deep in Brett's belly.
"You don't know", he stated, calmly still, but the thunder of the storm brewing underneath grumbled. Oh how it did!
Why he played like shit?
Why he wasn't eating?
Why he looked like a corpse wandeling the halls of this conservatory?
"I know for sure what you're doing is suicide, to you and your career and that's just plain stupid!"
"You don't know", Brett laughed. Laughed about how ridiculous everything was.
Eddy shook his head. "No! Why the hell... are you like this?"

It was at this moment when Brett's deadpan fell. When all the frustration, anger and pain came up all at once like an uncontrollable tsunami, overtaking his whole being and flooding the empty corridor.

"BECAUSE OF YOU! DAMN IT!"

It was the loudest he'd ever heard himself scream but there was not a cell in him which cared. His palms found Eddy's chest on their own accord, pushing him away with a blow and causing the taller to tumble backwards with wide, surprised eyes.

So this fucking idiot really had no clue.

"Out of nowhere you end our friendship and you expect me to be fucking NORMAL about it?"
Another chortle escaped his throat as if he'd turned into a madman. Maybe he actually was entering a grotesque metamorphosis.
"You vanish. After a competition we both had to play in and when I finally found you, you tell me it's better if we never talk to each other again. How THE FUCK do you think this makes me feel?"
Eddy's shirt fluttered above his quick heart beat when he blankly stared at Brett who stared back because no way, no way in hell he was letting Eddy off the hook without at least knowing WHY the fuck it had been necessary. Yeah, maybe Cole was right and knowing the reason would help.
"And why do you even care?", Brett continued screaming, throwing all his resentment at Eddy in the process, "Why do you even care what the fuck I do? Because you made it very, very clear that you despise me without ever giving me a reason why and now, you drag me out here and want me to explain myself? Are you fucking kidding me?"

Oh, it felt good! Probably better than it should but it felt so, so liberating to finally voice his anger towards the person he both loved and kind of despised the most at the moment. Seriously, what the hell was going on in Eddy's mind?

Eddy's chest rose and fell quickly and Brett could see the shock in the other's face blooming.
"This...", he eventually mumbled, "Shit... I thought..."
Eddy swallowed hard while the colour of his face changed from white to light green.
"This is not what I wanted at all... I thought I was setting you free... I mean, I thought you'd be better off. You're so strong and you have so many friends..."
"Well, I'm sorry I'm not a robot like you who can just turn off his feelings", Brett spat and he knew he was being harsh. He couldn't help it though. Didn't intend to, in fact.
Eddy turned his head left and right and sent his dark hair flying in all directions as he tumbled backwards, away from Brett.
"Fuck! Brett! You're like this because of me?"
"It really didn't occur to you that this was because of what you did?", Brett asked incredulously, subconsciously closing the gap between them when he stepped closer.
His panicked eyes found Brett's narrowed ones.
"I never thought... I mean, I'm no one! You know me for a week and it shouldn't... it shouldn't have affected you at all."

Brett stopped in his tracks. Wait, wasn't Eddy thinking Brett would brush over him ending their friendship with ease proof that he, in fact, didn't know about Brett's feelings for him? Brett furrowed his brows while wracking his brain, trying to get his synopsis to make sense of this mess.

But then, why? Why had Eddy acted like this in the first place?

"Is it because I won?", he asked, tone weak and tired all of a sudden.
"Brett, please..."
"No, Eddy!", he said with persistence, but much softer than before, "I deserve to know. This is the least you can do!"
"I told you, it's better if you don't", Eddy pressed out, features so contorted Brett flinched, despite the situation. Not even when he'd talked about his dad or that he didn't have fun playing the violin he'd sounded this pained.
"Trust me, I can't spiral further than I already have", Brett stated openly, "I doubt anything you say will make it worse."
Eddy looked away. "You don't know that. I'm despicable and that's why I figured it's best if you don't have to deal with me anymore."
"Fuck this! How many times do I have to tell you that you're a great person for you to believe that I in fact do like you?"
Brett was aware of the double meaning his statement carried but it didn't matter. Because after all the adjectives Brett had used to describe Eddy in the taller's presence, including very embarrassing ones like beautiful, he still hadn't gotten the message?
"But if you'd know, Brett..."
Wait, was Eddy tearing up?
"If you'd... you would never talk to me again!"
"Eddy!", Brett exclaimed loudly, eyes burning into Eddy's.
"Tell me!"

Eddy blinked a few times, cogwheels turning in his head as a thousand different emotions flickered across his features. Seconds ticked away in loaded silence where Brett waited for something, anything to be said which would explain Eddy Chen's sure misjudgement concerning Brett's opinion about him.

And then, eyes scrunched shut, a "Fuck it!", sibilated in desperation and what happened next caused Brett's brain to freeze like it was yeeted out into space without protection.

Eddy leaped forward, and met Brett's lips with his.