Tangled in Tension.

Chapter 11.

A couple of minutes later, i was stumbling back down the stairs with my head spinning. Jay called out for me after i left too, saying he'd come and talk to me later which did not help. Last thing i needed was him drunkenly trying to flirt his way into my life. I made it to the bottom of the stairs eventually, having accidentally crashed into some people on the way but i made it before i started to stumble towards the kitchen door, knowing i was going to have to sort myself out before i went to the kitchen but i couldn't. My heart was racing, everyone sounded distorted to the point they faded into background noise and the room was spinning. I already knew i had taken too much but all i could hope was that i'd be fine, just stumbling around for a bit. Just before i made it to the kitchen door though, i realised i could not go in. They'd all know straight away and i couldn't deal with that so, i turned around again but this time, i stumbled out the front door to the front porch where thankfully, no one was. I managed to sit myself down on the first stair on the stairs leading up to the porch before i buried my head into my hands. What had i done? It felt like only a few seconds passed of me sitting there when i felt a hand on my shoulder but i knew it had been way longer than that. Yet i still didn't feel any better. I looked up as i felt the hand but i already knew who it was by the way she squeezed my shoulder.

"Oh, hey." My own words sounded distorted. I had fucked up so bad.

"What're you doing out here?" Violet asked, taking a seat beside me as i tried my best to hide my face in the least obvious way.

I shrugged. I was hardly going to tell her. She looked at me as i did. And i watched out of my peripheral vision as her eyes narrowed into slits.

"What'd you take?" She asked softly. She didn't sound mad. She didn't sound upset.

"What?" I asked, glancing at her before i looked away quickly. But i knew there was no point in playing this bullshit. I knew she knew.

"Clem what did you take?" She asked again but again, she didn't sound angry. She sounded more worried than anything.

I sighed as i buried my head into my hands again, staying like that for a moment before i dropped my hands. "Coc."

"Are you okay?" She asked.

"Yeah, just, needed a minute." I murmured.

"You sure? If you feel sick or anything you gotta tell me." She insisted, nudging me with her knee slightly.

"I know." I nodded, turning to look at her. My eyes met hers, and she scanned mine, making sure i was okay.

Suddenly, the exhaustion and the regret hit me so much harder. What had i just done? Without thinking, i leaned my head onto her shoulder. It was a simple act, but in that moment, it felt like the safest place i could be. Violet didn't move or push me away; instead, she wrapped an arm around me, pulling me closer.

"You're gonna be fine, it'll pass." she murmured, her voice soothing me and i knew then and there that she knew i wasn't doing okay with this.

I nodded my head slightly, just enough so she could feel it.

"Have you taken it before?" She asked quietly, just trying to get more information.

"Yeah." I sighed.

"Wait, where'd you even get it? Who gave it to you?" She asked.

"Jay." I murmured.

"Are you kidding? He didn't pressure you into it did he? Ill kill him if he did. Fucking dick trying to win you over with drugs." She huffed, rambling on and sounding slightly angrier with every word.

"No, he didn't, i wanted to. You don't have to kill him." I smiled slightly before i spoke, even with the state i was in, over how caring she was.

"You sure? He didn't make you?" She asked again, wanting to make sure i was absolutely telling the truth.