The Widows Woman (GirlxGirl)

I'm Here

Rob had dropped Nana home first and then Carla so she didn't get back until around 9pm. She had eaten dinner, played with Randy and cleaned the kitchen but it was now eleven and she wasn't tired. Sat on the sofa, her now quite big dog lying across her lap, she stared at Thea's phone on the table. She desperately wanted to go through it, she wanted to feel close to her wife but didn't want to invade her privacy.

The temptation got too much and she decided to charge the phone. She wouldn't look at it, she'd just charge it on the basis that there maybe others like Amy's parents that have been trying to get hold of her wife. It was unlikely but safer to check, just in case.

The cable was right next to the sofa so she plugged it in then sat and watched the blank screen. Once the phone lit up she waited, waited for the barrage of text messages and missed calls that never came. She was intrigued and flicked through the messages and phone logs deciding they must have all come through while the phone was in with forensics. She was embarrassed every time she thought about some forensic police officer watching as she put on a performance that was only meant to be for her wife's eyes.

She vowed then and there to never do anything like that again. She took it back when she realised if her wife woke up and that's what she wanted, she'd make a hundred videos for her.

Beginning to feel more comfortable she decided she wouldn't look at the messages and Thea wasn't on social media so that wasn't even an option but she would look at the photos. Thea had hundreds on here and mainly of Carla. The younger woman smiled as she flicked through, there were a few of them together but the majority of the pictures were of her, most of them when she was unaware they were being taken. She was relieved because the majority of them weren't dirty at all, maybe her wife had deleted them. Then she found the folder titled only 'C.'

It was password protected but Carla smiled, knowing full well the password was her own birthday. Her heart began to race. All the suggestive photos she'd ever sent her had been saved right here, along with the video which she didn't watch. She felt strange, she couldn't put her finger on it until she saw her wife in one of the photos. Thea had taken a picture of Carla when they were on holiday, Carla remembered this picture being taken, she was wearing very little after all but a mirror had captured her wife's naked body as she'd held the phone. Now the younger woman realised what this feeling was. She was turned on. Her body craved her wife in a way she hadn't felt in a long time.

"Fuck!" She shouted to no one, standing and trying to distract herself. She put the telly on then turned it off again. She got herself a cup of tea which took her very little time to consume so she made another one. It was one thing missing her wife emotionally but now her body was turning against her and missing her sexually? She couldn't handle this.

Flopping back down on the sofa with Randy she wondered if this is how Thea felt. Why she was so sex crazed after Amy and she wished she could ask her if it worked, if it helped the longing, not that it was something she could even think about doing. Trying to block out the memory of her dying wife telling her to sleep with as many women as she could, she wondered briefly if anything would make her feel as good as her wife used to again or if that part of her life was now over? Another thing she had to grieve.

Turning the phone back on again she noticed the Home Screen and that hit her in the heart. She'd forgotten the cop had changed it to their Christmas selfie with the dog and they looked so happy. It was gutting. She clicked onto Thea's Spotify and decided music was the way to go. She'd sit here, drink the rest of her tea, listen to some music and then go to bed once her hormones had settled.

Thea had three Spotify playlists, driving, running and 'C.' Intrigued, she clicked on her initial and smiled as all the songs they'd ever danced to appeared before her eyes. There was only one she didn't recognised so she played that one first. Tennessee Whiskey. They definitely never danced to this song, she'd have remembered it.