My Indecisive Heart

Chapter 1 - Let's Talk

"I am not going, not again."

I have been trying to clarify this to Sarah, my best friend, but as usual, she has refused to listen.

"Oh, come on! It can't be that bad. I mean when are you ever going to talk to Isaac?"

Isaac is my boyfriend. I mean, he was my boyfriend. Not until he broke up with me a few weeks ago. He approached me last Christmas. We talked for a while and then we exchanged numbers. It wasn't too long till he confessed his feelings over text. I didn't want to get into a relationship then, as I was already with Peterson, my other ex-boyfriend.

Yes I know, I've dated a lot, big deal!

I did like Peterson, probably I loved him, but I didn't know. I felt bad so when Isaac approached me and told me he'd liked me, I couldn't have dealt with that. I rejected him. But, as indecisive and unstable as I am, I got together with him a month later. Because of this, I broke up with Peterson because I liked Isaac. At least, I thought I did.

So, here we are now, Isaac had broken up with me over text just like he'd confessed his feelings, and my supposed best friend, Sarah was trying to get me to talk to him for the hundredth time this week.

"Kay! Are you even listening?", Sarah had been nagging me for a while now and she got on my last nerve as she yanked me away from my thoughts.

"Yes, I am. And I'll talk to him. I mean, what will I even say to him?"

"I'll call him over, you hold on."

He was not far from where we were. He stood in the other side of the hallway with his earplugs in and he seemed to be focused on the game he was currently playing on his phone. He was into Call of Duty. Most boys at my school were. He leaned against the lockers. He has dark hair. He had a buzz cut and I had to admit, it looked quite good on him. He was caramel in color, had brown hazel-like eyes, long eyelashes that were so thick, and of course, the perfect shade of pink lips. He was everything but mine. Well, I did have him, for a while.

"Hey! Will, over here!" Sarah had just called over one of our friends, Will to help call Isaac. Will was quite short but he was funny to make up for it. She spoke to him and gave him a few instructions. Sarah was quite bossy. It was her nature. She had all the guys at school littering all over her. I was just neutral. The boys did like me, but I was nothing really special. Not compared to her.

Will had gone to talk to Isaac and he came back briefly after speaking to him.

"Well, he said he's busy," Will said as he came over. He had gone to call Isaac but of course, he was 'busy'.

"Okay then, we'll talk later," I said, dismissing Will.

"Look, um Kay, I have to go but make sure you talk to him okay? Just tell him what's on your mind. Trust me, I know you have a lot going on there." Sarah said, looking quite concerned.

"Alright, fine I guess. I'll talk to him. Okay, you have to go now. Your ride's out front."

"Bye. I'll see you tomorrow, love you." Sarah was already rushing out the gates when I yelled out a 'you too' just loud enough for her to hear me.

I loved Sarah. I really did. I've known her since elementary school. I met her when we were eight and she had just transferred into our school then. I didn't like her at first but after a while, we got quite close and not long after, we became best friends. I know she wanted the best for me and I was ready to try to talk to Isaac for her sake and the sake of my mental health.

Alright. Here we go.

I made my way over to Isaac and stopped right in front of him. He looked up from his phone and into my eyes.

Oh, his eyes were beautiful.

We were almost the same height. He was slightly taller though. I couldn't blame him. He was taller than most kids our age. He always has. He plays basketball, so he's naturally muscular. My eyes drifted to his arms and I gulped in desire. 

"Um, hey Isaac, been a while."