My Indecisive Heart

Chapter 13 - Love, Passion, Guilt and Anxiety

I turned around to find Peter. What was he doing here? And by this time of the night? I pulled out my phone and checked the time. It was past 8:00 pm.

I waved the phone in his face to show him that it was late. He knocked louder and louder and I hesitantly opened the window for him to get in. I didn't want my parents to find a boy in here.

I moved forward slowly and locked my door. Peter sat on my bed and I stood against my desk, embarrassed. Mostly because I had my unicorn pajama set on. It was a pink pajama top with a bow and long pants with unicorn prints all over.

He giggled as he scanned my outfit.
"It's cute." He said when he noticed I looked shy.

"Why are you here?" I asked him. He was the least person I expected to see especially after our last meeting. He called me selfish and yelled at me to get out of his car.

I watched him as he rubbed his palms together and he tapped his feet on the ground, anxiously. He seemed as if he wanted to say something but was too nervous to.

"I said, why are you here Peterson?" I repeated myself, more boldly now. He then stood up and then started walking towards me.

My stupid heart started doing backflips and I was pretty sure he could hear the flapping wings of the bustling butterflies in my tummy. I was pathetic for feeling this way about my other ex.

Overall, I was pathetic. With or without the exes.

He then stepped forward and took my hand. Looking deep into my eyes, he spoke.

His hair fell on his forehead and I could barely see his eyes. I felt his ocean blue eyes staring deep into my soul. His figure towered over me and he looked down at me with such an intensity that one would think he might be in love with me.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have spoken to you like that." He said, his eyes holding the deepest emotions.

He went ahead to speak further and I stood there, frozen in my spot.
"I guess I was just angry a- and it fired me up to hear that you moved on from me so quickly." He took a long breath, as if counting his words, he continued with his apology speech. "Tell me he's not the reason you broke up with me, Kayla. I want you to tell me." He demanded as he held my hand he took into his, placing it on his chest as if trying to tell me something there.

I shivered in anxiety. I could not contain my emotions and I stood there, unable to utter a word to the poor boy who looked like he craved for my assurance.

"Was he the reason Kayla?" He asked again, his voice getting huskier by the moment.

Anxious, I shook my head and his once saddened eyes suddenly had a glimpse of hope in them.

"He's not." I blurted out, my teary voice betraying me.

He hugged me and muttered in my ear "I knew it. I always did. I'm so sorry my love."

My love?

"Kayla, I'm sorry I doubted you." He said in a rushed manner. "Let's get back together. No Isaac. Just me and you. You still love me right?"

I was overwhelmed with emotions. On one hand, I was happy to hear he still loved me. On another hand, I was filled with the guilt of breaking his heart.

Again, he looked at me with the most beautiful eyes one can imagine and I looked up at him and nodded. He engulfed me in a tight hug and spun me around as I giggled.

He then carried me and sat on the bed, placing me on his laps and he secured mine with his long arms.
He turned my face towards his and caressed my cheek with his right hand, tucking in any strand of hair on my face behind my ear.

He looked into my eyes and then on my lips. And, we kissed.

Kissing Peter was like feeling a hundred emotions all at once. I felt love, passion, guilt and anxiety. I did not know where dating Peter again was going to take me. But for now, I wanted it. I wanted him and I was ready to face the consequences at this moment.