The rest of the week I'm a mess. Of course, Jane notices me looking and feeling like a literal sack of shit. She came up to me during class when we had free time. Jane sat down next to me but I didn't notice her. "max, are you okay? You haven't been yourself lately" Jane asks concerned. "I'm perfectly fine, why wouldn't I be" I lie, I didn't want to explain all the shit that happened right now. "hey," Jane goes to the seat in front of me. "you know you can talk to me" Jane says and places her hand over mine. She does not know how wrong she is.
I can't talk to her about avenging Billy, I can't tell her I'm Saturn-spider -like she would believe me- I can't tell her anything. It's not her fault.
"trust me, I'm fine" I assure her. I'm getting annoyed now though. She can't just let me rot in my despair. "max, I know you. I know something happened" Jane says more sternly. I take my hand back and shove it in my hoodie pocket. "No, you don't fucking know me. You don't know anything about me." I hiss, why am I getting so mad. Jane looks surprised and hurt, more hurt than anything. I basically just told her to fuck off.
"I'm going to the bathroom" I say quickly with no intention of coming back then my swing my bag around my shoulder. I ignore Jane, ignore the teacher, ignore everyone.
The only thing I can think of doing is listening to music. Music has always been important to me. I had a breakdown when my parents took it away from me for a month, I don't even think I would still be alive if it wasn't for music.
I put on my headphones and scroll to my breakdown song. Death cup- mom jeans,
I left the school after that.
