Stories from My Youth: The Complete Chronicles

Introduction: The Birth of a Legend

I was a weird, weird child growing up, as you are about to find out. I never really had any friends growing up, which meant that I spent most of my days indoors watching TV and reading. I loved books growing up. They always meant I could travel to another world and surround myself with different characters in different situations. I had always envyed people who could write books and never thought I'd be able to do one for myself. Then, in 2006, things changed....

When we were in 1st class, we were suddenly tasked with writing our own stories. This was as part of the 'First Steps' program, which aimed to help students become better at reading and writing. At the time, I thought I was the absolute business, the best thing to ever happen to the class. Looking back, I was rubbish! You can clearly tell I'd never written before, and these stories (while they do get better as they go along, I promise) do have a whiff of amateurishness, a sprinkling of half-assery, and a good dollop of plagiarism. 

So why am I even doing this in the first place? I hear you cry from the opposite side of the screen.
Well, turns out there's several reasons.

1) I feel I should put these up on the internet to have as a permanent back-up since my copies are falling apart rapidly and probably won't last much longer
2) Anyone I read these stories to say they are absolutely golden. I personally couldn't disagree more, but I'll let you decide for yourself how you feel.
3) Brief warning: Some of these stories are absolutely mental. I don't know what I was on as a child, but it was clearly some messed-up crap. See if you can figure out the point where Monty Python began to shape my sense of humour to a VERY large extent!

The way I'm going to do this is that first I will write out the story in full. Then I will add my own brief synopsis and review underneath. I have also considered doing an analysis of each story, explaining the deep underlying symbolism of each one. I will only do this if I can even be bothered! 

So, get ready for confusing storylines, unresolved plot-threads, generic character names, references to British TV shows from the 1970s, unintentionally offensive plot twists, blatant plagiarism and all round good times. It's time to delve deep inside my story copies and see what dark and twisted shenanigans my brain was up to at such a young age. Be prepared for ANARCHY!!!