Love Sick

27

A/N: GUYS IM SO SORRY THAT I ABANDONED U GUYS FOR LIKE 3 MONTHS I HAVE BEEN SOSOOSO BUSY WITH MOVING INTO MY DORM AND SETTLING INNN AHH PLS FORGIVE MEE

RYLIE

The first time keeps popping up into my head.

 Why did I do it? I keep asking myself. 

Why the fuck did I let her push the pill into my mouth, why, why, why. If I had asked for help instead of digging myself deeper into this hole, I wouldn't be in a constant cycle of sobriety and relapsing. Maybe if I didn't let her do that.

Maybe if I didnt let her push that damn pill in my mouth.

If only.

I just wanted to feel something other than being miserable all the fucking time. 

My head rests on my silky white throw pillow as I look up at the ceiling of my room. I see a cats melting down onto my face, no, no, not anymore; now I see too many things to even explain. 

"Rylie," I hear a soft knock on the other side of my door. "Can I come in?" Aaron is here

The drowsiness of my body stumbles me back into reality, or at least tries to, before I fall off my bed. "AH- fuck." I screech. My head is pounding and as soon as I open my eyes, everything is blurry. The whole room is spinning and I can't seem to get my head straight. 

"Ry-" Aaron barges into my room. "Are you okay? What the fuck happened?!" he looks around the room before his eyes land on the pill bottle lying open on my bedside table. "Rose, d-did you.." he trails off, his eyes seeping with concern. 

"G-get out, Aaron." I manage to whisper, not even knowing if I'm looking at him, my mind is too filled with stuff, I can't think straight let alone talk. 

"Rose.." I can hear his voice breaking. 

"Get the fuck out Aaron!" I try to yell out. 

He runs a frustrated hand through his hair. Before turning on his heels and leaving me on the wooden floors. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

5 MONTHS AGO

"Todays the last day of school motherfuckers!" Ally swings an arm around my shoulder as well as Nicole's, the black haired, green eyed girl beside me. I chuckle, as the distorting voices echo in my head. 

Am I absolutely fucked up on the very last day of sophomore year? Yes.

"Hey you good Ryls?" Nicole nudges my arm. My head shifts to her as I nod, her eyes are in her nostrils and her mouth is on her forehead. I don't know where to look.

At this point in time Ive been taking all different types of drugs, too many to even count if Im going to be totally honest.

We continue to walk into first period, which is AP English. I can't wait for today to be over, I can't wait to go home and not think about school again for a whole two months. 

I fucking hate this place.

I want to get out, and leave to a place far, far away. 

"I'm gonna drop you guys off here, I'll see you in fourth period Rylie!" Nicole steps away from us, my head tilts to her direction, too distracted from the noises in my mind I pull away from Ally and lean on the doorframe of the classroom.

I quickly push myself off and continue my way to my seat.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

I throw my backpack off my shoulder and onto my bed. Ally is fucking bitch, who does she think she is? Saying that about my mom. 

"She looks like a prostitute, no wonder she was a pregnant teen. She probably sold herself."  the words replay in mind. I should've fucking slapped her instead of walking away. 

I need to calm the hell down. 

I open my drawer and pull out the orange pill bottle, I push down on the lid and twist it open. I shake the bottle and what looks to be seven blue pills slide into my hand. I pop them in my mouth and swallow. 

What am I doing? I could fucking die. 

But I don't know how to control it. 

I make my way into the bathroom connected to my room as the medication quickly kicks in. My head starts to spin with agony as I shut the door close and slide against the door, my knees weakening with every breath I take. 

Its time. I think to myself. 

Finally.

I hear a quick knock on my bedroom door before hearing the doorknob twist open. "Rylie, your snack is on the counter." I hear Elijah's muffled voice on the other side of my door. "Ry, where are you?" he chuckles to himself as he takes a few steps forward. 

I whisper something, I dont know what, but I whispered something. 

"Ry are you hiding." he scoffs, "This isn't funny, your ice cream is going to melt." 

I can't focus on anything. His voice is going in and out, my head is spinning. 

"Is that a fucking pill bottle, Rylie?" Eli's voice deepening now. He stomps over to the bathroom door and bangs on it. "Come out, Rylie!" he rattles the doorknob. 

My vision is black. I can't feel my legs. My heart rate is slowing with every inhale and exhale. 

"RYLIE," he calls out. I dont answer, I dont have the energy to answer. I can't string together the words. The vibration of the doorknob rattling once more makes me lay flat on the ground. 

I stare up at the florescent light flickering with every bang Eli makes. 

"RYLIE OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR." he starts throwing his body against the door, in attempt to break it down. "PLEASE-PL-JUST OPEN IT." he shouts to me. "Please," his voice softens, I can hear the sobs coming from him as he continues to try to break the door down. 

And then, everything goes black. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A/N: guess who's backkkk!! guess who also started uni and has been cramped with homework and assignments all month!!!! Guys im really trying to push these chapters out but its so hard so im so sorry if chapters take longer to come out im barely starting college and im trying to get used to the communal showers to (kms) so give me TIMEE.