Eyes don't lie [Kimchay]

happy ever after?

Heightened emotions stirred feelings and old love could either lead to a passionate victory or... the worst mistake of someone's life. Chay's life to be specific. 

Curled up in bed under the sheets of his favorite blanket Chay's forehead is merely centimeters away from a very handsome problem...Kimhan.

Chay wishes he could say that last night was only a blur, a product of lust or rather a heat of the moment mistake, but if he was to tell the truth it would mean the exact opposite to him, it was never a blur, never,  in fact Chay wouldn't be lying if he said that he could retrace every inch of his body that Kim had sensually touched last night , that he could remember every kiss, every word that was spoken, he can truly remember it so vividly almost like its scorched into his soul, almost like it's the only thing his brain ever wanted to remember.

Chay could also never fathom the idea of saying that what happened last night was only a fault, 'a mistake made in the heat of the moment' to be exact , because it was not, he knows deep down in his heart that what happened last night was surely the only thing his body craved to do ever since he fell in love with Kim and that desire to have him like that only fueled when they shared that first kiss..

and now?

Chay is scared, he is terrified to say the least. Any moment now Kim could open his pretty eyes and then what? Chay has no idea what Kim is going to say, not even a clue and thinking about what Kim told him last night it could only go smoothly right? Actually, that's the problem Chay has been up almost an hour and without moving a muscle he has just been laying there staring at Kim overthinking the endless scenarios of what Kim will say to him as soon as he wakes up. He knows Kim told him last night that he loved him and well they literally slept together but yet Chay can't help but wonder if Kim actually meant what he said and did not only say those unforgettable words just because Chay was crying and brokenly confessing to him, he just can't help but wonder if Kim would actually want to date him or even want to be with him.

Call him paranoid or whatever but after everything he still wonders if maybe Kim will think of last night as a mistake, what if he freaks out and actually leaves him again? Chay knows he will be heart broken and absolutely crushed. All these thoughts and questions are spiraling in his head at once and it is making him anxious all over again. Should he just stand up and leave Kim to wake up alone in his bed?

 should he stay?

 would Kim have wanted him to stay? 

'ugh fucking hell' Chay mentally curses himself, if there's one thing he promised himself since Kim left him the first time is that he will never humiliate himself by begging someone to stay again and right now as much as Chay can wish and hope that Kim is not going to tear heart apart once more, he can't stay he here, he can't just keeping laying here next to him with the unsurety of what could've been Kim's heated decisions. 

Let's say his paranoia surely got the best of him because the next thing he knows he is already slowly trying to escape the covers without waking up the ticking time bomb next to him, and considering Kim was literally raised by the mafia, moving without waking him could be a complicated task.

Chay almost cheered in success when he walks to the door, and just as he turns around for a final time to be sure that Kim is still sleeping soundly, his heart drops. Kim is right behind him and with a look that Chay can make out as a confused expression. Chay's heart has now relocated in his throat and for a split second he wonders if Kim is confused as to why he is leaving or if Kim is confused about what happened between them. 

You would think that after almost an hour of over thinking every scenario that could play out right now that Chay would at least know what to say in this moment, but no. His tongue has never felt this dry before.