Harry Styles' P.A

Make a plan

As I get in the car, something that has gradualy become easier since I started working for Harry, I look at Louis.

"Hi. So, where are we going?"
Louis looks back at me with a grimace.
"My place. It's the only place where we can talk and be absolutely sure we won't be heard. You made it sound important."
I sigh. I don't know what to say to that. I feel like it matters. Harry will never be truly happy without Louis, and Louis will never be truly happy if Harry hates him.
"It is essential for your happiness. And Harry's." Louis frowns, but says nothing. When it comes to these kind of conversations, I guess he can't even trust his driver. So we sit in silence as the driver manouvres the car through the never ending buzz of L.A's traffic.
When we arrive at Louis villa, it strikes me how simple and down to earth it all is. It's a big house, but that's it really. No massive swimming pool in the backyard. He has a balcony as wide as the front of the house, so I assume his bedroom is there, but other than that, it just looks like a big, family home, secluded from the neighbors for privacy. It shows a certain simplicity, like Louis tried to find a balance between what he came from, and what he is now. To have the luxury he missed in his childhood, without turning his back on it. I love it. It's very cozy.
Louis wastes no time on small talk. Without asking what I want he just starts making tea, and he comes back with two mugs, puts them on the coffeetable and then searches his cabinets until he find a tin with biscuits. He might live in L.A, but he will never not be British. It makes me smile.
"So. About Harry, you said?"
I take a sip of tea and nod.
"Yea. Last week, when we went out with Niall, Harry got pretty wasted."
Louis' face looks concerned, but he waits for me to continue.
"I may have poked the bear and asked about you."
Louis heaves a deep sigh and falls back into the couch.
"The fook is wrong with you?"
I raise my eyebrows at him.
"Hear me out before you get angry alright? He wasn't happy that I asked, but he talked. He never talks about you. He doesn't want to talk to you either. But he still wears your jumper. I had to ask."
Louis bites his lip in unadulterated frustration, but nods shortly.
"Fine. What did he say?"
I hesitate. I have no idea what this will do, but these two somehow need to get together to talk. They're wasting time.
"He is convinced you don't love him. I'm convinced you do. I know he loves you. He said that himself."
Louis gets up, agitated, and starts gesturing with his hands anxiously.
"Why the fook would he think I don't luv 'im? He's my sun. Always has been. Of course I luv 'im. But I didn't think he still loved me. I thought he hated me."
I purse my lips and grimace.
"Well, he's not too happy with you, obviously."
Louis throws his hands up in the air in frustration.
"Why? Because of Brianna? Because of Freddie? That's eight years ago! I told him I was drunk. It was a stupid mistake. I hardly remember what happened. All I remember, is me leaving the hotel after Harry and I had a fight, I got completely wasted, and then I woke up next to Brianna, naked. She said we had sex, and apparently without protection. When she found out she was pregnant, we did one of those early paternity tests. She said that if I wouldn't marry her or move in with her, she'd abort the kid. I had to be sure it was mine. When I found out it was, I tried everything to convince her to keep it without forcing me to be in a relationship with her. At the same time, it IS my kid. I wanted to be involved. So management forced the relationship anyway, so they could explain why I was having a kid."
Louis sighs, slightly out of breath from ranting, but also weighed down by his sadness and anger from the past.
"I tried to explain it to Harry. I told him I was sorry. I told him I couldn't remember leaving with her at all. For all I know, she drugged me, I just can't prove that. I had to bribe her to let me be Freddies father, and she still makes it impossible for me. She hardly lets me see him. I have to write a check for every weekend I spend with him. I'm fighting for my kid. I always have. But as young as he is, and with my hectic life, the judge thinks he's better off with his mom. And if I would have full custody over Freddie, I'd never be able to be with Harry. It broke us apart then. So why not now?"
I shake my head at him, and Louis looks at me confused.
"It's not about Brianna. Or Freddie. When Harry wanted to be openly in a relationship with you, management forbid it, right?"
Louis nods.
"They said we'd never sing on stage again, that they owned our voice."
I nod. That sounds like their old management alright. I've seen and heard plenty about it.
"Harry was ready to give up his entire singing career. You weren't."
Louis stops pacing abruptly and stares at me in disbelief.
"That's what Harry says?"
I nod in silence.
He makes some sort of disgruntled sound and drops down on the couch again, resting his face in his hands in defeat.
"It wasn't like that."
It's quiet for a while and I drink my lukewarm tea as I wait. When it becomes clear that Louis isn't going to eleborate, I finish my tea and put down the mug. I scoot a little closer to him.
"Then tell me how it was. I'm trying to help you. Both of you. If there's a misunderstanding, the two of you are wasting time that you could spend together."
Louis looks up and shakes his head.
"His contract won't allow that. I managed to get out. I fought for it. I'm free. But Harry isn't. And even when Harry gets out of his contract, we'll never be allowed to expose Simon. The NDA's are still valid."
Another silence follows. This time a pensative one. There has to be a way around this.
"Harry's contract ends in one year. He has already made clear he wants to get away from Jeff. Maybe find a queer manager. So how did you get out of your contracts? There must be a way to make the people who closeted you pay for what they did. But first you need to tell me what actually happened."
Louis rubs the palm of his hand like he always does. He does it on stage too, always the same way.
"Like I said. If we chose our relationship over our career, we'd never be able to sing again. He wasn't even 20 yet! He had his whole life ahead of him. I couldn't just let him throw away what he loved most."
I snort and he cocks an eyebrow at me.
"What?" He says with a bite to his tone.
I shrug.
"That's the first mistake. You think he loves singing the most. But he was willing to give it all up for you. Because you are the one he loves most."
Louis frowns and rubs his face.
"Even if you're right, it wasn't just about us. If Harry and I would not have been allowed to sing anymore, the whole band would have fallen apart. We would have ruined it for the boys too. And Niall was so insecure because of some nasty haters. And I constantly tried to keep Liam on his feet. And that was hard. He worried about Zayn's anxiety and his eating disorder. And he was stressed and depressed himself. Which would get worse if Zayn had a bad episode. Liam just loved him so much. It took him a while, but when he fell, he fell hard. But it hurt him to see Zayn like that. Harry tried to help Zayn, I tried to help Liam, and we all tried to protect Niall. Can you imagine what would have happened if Harry and I would've run off to get married? And Harry seemed to be completely blind to that."