33| confused

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Why doesn't she fucking leave my mind? I could see her swimming in the beach being all giggly with Eunwoo. She went shopping with Jimin right? So probably he only chose that swimsuit. She has a boyfriend for fucks sake. God I hate everyone at the moment. Irene was right beside me, reading a book. I really wanted to go in the water, she did say yes but I just can't leave my girl alone looking so damn beautiful in my shirt. I really want to see her one-piece bikini that I chose, but she says that patience is the key. Like the fuck? Is she some sort of padlock or what?

I glanced my eyes away to control myself. That's when I got awestruck. There she was, receding out from the sea, water trailing down her hair and droplets on her lean waist that shimmered under the sunlight.



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How I remember having my hands all over her. I hate myself for this. My girl is right beside me, but here I am drooling over someone else. I sometimes think that I should tell Irene about us having sex once. We shared everything with each other, and I don't want her to know about this from someone else. Even though I am sure that Yn won't tell her or anyone but she might probably have told Jennie who can't keep secrets at all.

Then, the other moment, I think that I shouldn't. Irene might start hating Yn and even worse, ask me to stop being with her. And I don't want so. I need to keep proper bablance, but only if Yn cooperates. She has been drifting away and ignoring me for quite long now. Jimin is the main reason for this maybe. I had warned Yn to say away from that guy, but has she ever listened to me?

I have never been this confused in life. Why is this happening? Jin hyung did say that I am just not used to her being around guys, but I should not think of her in my arms, at least. Life is fucked up. I can't imagine myself without her or Irene. I feel this weird attraction to her nowadays. I guess that it is just because we don't talk much.

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