Something Bout Her: Poems of Love

21. Shadows of Lost Light

There is something bout her that turned my world upside down, In her presence, I found solace, yet in her absence, I drowned.
She was my beacon in the darkest of nights,
But losing her left me in a perpetual fight.

My mind became a mess, clarity out of reach, 
Maybe she sought peace by burning me, her silent speech. 
She became my addiction, her words a soothing balm, 
I craved the slightest conversation, a moment's calm.

I had no idea what the hell I should do, 
The pain too intense, the paper's comfort untrue. 
Talking to anyone felt like betraying her trust, 
Yet the silence suffocated, turning my soul to dust.

There was a way, deep in my heart's recess, 
To kill all my feelings, end this distress. 
But fear of returning to that dark abyss, 
And the love I held for her, wouldn’t let me dismiss.

I needed to cut off the ties if I couldn't move on, 
Not walking away, just killing the feelings long drawn. 
Imagine a dark room, so black you can't see, 
I've always been scared of this place, haunted by its decree.

And then she entered, bright as the moonlight's gleam, 
Made it better, with her, it felt like a dream. 
But one day, she said it’s over, took the light away, 
Leaving me in darkness, with no words left to say.

She wanted the best for me, suggested I wait, 
For the right person to enter, my destined mate. 
But I had questions that gnawed at my soul, 
If she feared the dark, why did she make me whole?

I'm not gonna stay here, waiting in vain, 
I'll escape this room, sever every chain. 
To do that, I must kill all my feelings inside, 
The ones that tether me to this place where I hide.

No, I won't break my word, the feelings will remain, 
But they'll be chained here, never to walk away again.

I shut down my emotions, numb and blank inside, 
Hopeless and shattered, with nothing left to confide. 
I did everything I could, still ended up with pain, 
So I hurt myself till numbness was all that remained.

Numbness brought a temporary reprieve, 
No longer feeling the agony, starting to believe. 
But one day, I saw her picture, a stake through my heart, 
Confused and lost, couldn't decipher this part.

If I had nothing in my heart, why this searing pain? 
Why did her memory still cause such a strain? 
No answers came, just a void filled with despair, 
A reminder of love lost, and the emptiness there.

In the echo of my thoughts, shadows continue to play, 
Her absence cuts deeper, as night consumes the day.