What wasn't there before |Sanemi Shinazugawa x Reader|

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Hi everyone! Sorry for the long wait, I was having a bit of writer's block trying to decide what would happen next. But here it is! I hope you enjoy :) 

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As you returned to the inside of your tent, you couldn't take another step in before falling to your knees. It felt like time had stopped and you couldn't get it forward. You finally told him. What should have been a moment of happiness for you, instead brought sadness.

You brought a hand up to your lips and tried to muffle the sobs that wanted to escape from your lips. Lost in your thoughts, Sanemi's words rang through your ears again, I would have chosen you first.

Since getting to know Sanemi he has always been tough and unyielding, but the closer you've gotten to know him, he is caring and helpful. After hearing his words, spoken so quietly, slipped out, and shattered something within you. You wiped your tears with your hands, hoping they would stop already. You took a deep breath and got up, what you needed right now was to rest and focus on the rest of the mission. No distractions.

As you made your way over to your sleeping mat, you rested your head on your pillow and forced your eyes to shut. But every time you would close your eyes you would see his face and the regret etched into his features when you walked away.

Yet, there was no room for him. Just as you have Giyu, Sanemi has Kanae. Right now the mission was all that mattered now. You had to focus. There was no room for personal feeling, so with one last deep breath, you closed your eyes again and drifted off to sleep.

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"Ara Ara! (Y/N) is awake!" Kanae smiled looking at your form. "Are you ready for the mission?"

You stood in front of Kanae with your uniform on and Katana hugging your side, you were trying not to show how tired you were so you forced a smile. "As ready as I'll ever be."

In the corner of your eyes, you see Sanemi. You are surprised to see that he looks like his normal self. To say the least, it irritated you. Seeing him like this meant that last night meant nothing to him. You frowned to yourself and swore to avoid him after this mission was complete.

So you turned your head around and helped Kanae pack up the rest of the campground, not noticing that Sanemi was looking at you once you turned away. He sighed noticing your attitude right away. He deserved it he said something last night that he shouldn't have while he was already in a relationship with something else. He scolded himself and continued to pack up the tents before continuing the rest of the mission.

Kanae took notice of the tension between the two of you, she thought that it was best to ask you about it. 

"Ara, (Y/N) are you alright? You seem a bit tense today?"

You flinched, you wished she hadn't noticed. Darn her and her perceptiveness. 

You shook your head and forced a smile, "I just didn't sleep well. I'm worried it might affect the mission."

Kanae tilted her head in confusion, not convinced, "Are you sure that's the reason?" She still insisted.

You nodded again, "Yes, don't worry I won't hold us back."

She sighed and decided to take your answer for now, but wanted to make sure to ask about it later. After a few more minutes, the campground was cleaned up and the three of you were ready to go to the destination.