the distance of our souls

Chapter IX - Black & White Lens

This chapter is the one i've been talking about constantly, this is the most important chapter, okay my love? Please take it to heart🤍
     
         It had almost been a year of me and my beautiful August being together, and our relationship had been going so incredibly amazing and just as perfect as two teenage girls can be when they're in love. There are many days where we tend to be off, where we argue over small stupid things, and where we just barely talk. But every single one of those days felt so worth it, because i realized i had finally gotten the real August. The one who's actually so funny and silly, the one who snores and liked me to hush her while she sleeps, the one who's love language is physical touch, the one who has such a great sense of style and loves to play dress to impress on roblox, the girl who giggles and laughs with me, oh i can go on and on. I'd been waiting for sooo long to get to where i was those days. I'd been longing for August to get comfortable with me, to show her i loved her real self, also finding out i'd genuinely fall harder for the girl she really was rather than the girl i first met.

Both are perfect versions of her, but August? She's my favourite version of herself, she's my Aj. A nickname i gave her in October, after i first found out her last name from snapchat. During all the months of us being together, i realized something.

———————————————————

You would think us talking everyday for minimum over five hours, would make me sick and tired of her, find her boring. I can't think the same way, because every second we talked, my heart felt more and more devoted to this girl, my soul tied a little more with every message.

The bad ones would hurt, they would make me feel upset or sad or just mad, but i would say things i shouldn't say as well, and those hurt her, make her feel sad and upset. We were teenagers, sensitive ones too, and that's why we were able to get past so many of those meltdowns we had. I loved her so much, and i knew i never meant any hurtful things i said. I still am sorry to this day, because knowing i've made her cry, pull her out hair out, lose her appetite, and more makes me feel like throwing up and crying. August and i were little girls, we were each other's babies, why would i ever want to hurt mine? I wouldn't.

August was the perfectest girl on the planet to me; though she had a horrible environment that made part of how she
was, i still saw her heart through every moment. I hated seeing her heart feel so upset with herself, however. The most beautiful girl felt insecure, constantly. Over almost everything in her life, it broke me to think she'd feel that way when she was so perfect. Her skin, something smooth and perfectly detailed, even with the pimples and bumps that made her feel different, all made her so unique and give her , her own beauty marks; making her different. Irreplaceable. Her body, she hated how she was a little bigger than most average girls, but i saw no problem in her body. She showed me her hips with these beautiful coloured lines running across and around, her stomach having even more light lines run up the sides of her waist and stomach, and she showed me every part that had a few more of those beautiful highlights; they make her look so beautiful. She was just scared of me judging her anf her looks, but i didn't see anything wrong with anything? She had such a beautiful face,.. such beautiful hair, the most figurative body, a warm voice, such a pretty laugh, giggles that were contagious , smiles that lit the room even during the darkest nights, a heart of diamonds, a soul of light, the most perfect and precious personality, understood emotions, small cute ears, long dark eyelashes, cute "freckles" she calls her beauty marks, attractive hands, mesmerizing irises, and just everything.

I wish she could see how i see her, i need to get rid of her dark lens she uses. I would love to give her my light and grey ones. Ones to prove and show her how perspective and the right people can have opposite opinions and thoughts nothing compared to hers. I want August to see, the most gorgeous girl in the galaxy.

All my thoughts were true, from my heart. I never understood how my baby could see such darkness in the beautiful world she created by existing in. Despite every flaw, every time we fought, every time i cried, every time she made a mistake, despite all the times she'd been hurt, the times she hurt, the times she felt alone, the times she needed space, the times she couldn't understand, i never blinked for one second. I never felt like she was imperfect. Every aspect of her made her who she was, what she'd become, what she would grow from, and how she was. I loved how she was, though there were times it was hard to understand certain conditions of her life, i never quit on her, because she's worth a billion chances, a billion attempts, and true love and commitment. That's what i was dedicated to giving her our whole relationship, back when i was young👵, my dignity, trust, loyalty, and commitment was all on the passion of mine to make her life better than it'd ever been. My destiny and desire felt like it was meant to be fulfilled by sticking by this girl's side, receiving what i was granted and needed from her, and making sure i never gave up on her, despite the distance, despite the constant challenges, there was no measure to how tied our souls were.

Just because we were in different places, doesn't mean our hearts were. Luckily, August had no clue what was going to happen in her future.🤍

1033 words