SHIKWA

Chapter 23

Swara was busy thinking about everything when she heard a knock over her door. Ragini was standing and Laksh was behind her.

"Come na!" Swara said.

Ragini looked at Laksh and said, "She is still our Swara Laksh. You can talk to her normally! "

Swara smiled. She knew what Laksh must be experiencing.

Laksh nodded. He came near Swara and sat on the floor.

"Not done Swara! Totally not done!" Laksh said in a slow voice.

"What not done?" Swara asked.

"I said so many wrong things. I did so many wrong things! And you are not even punishing me!" Laksh said.

Swara sighed.

"No Swara! If I, Bhaiya and papa are alive that's because of you. And it was me who cursed you to get all the pains in life." Laksh was laughing amidst tears, "How mad I was to curse you of something which you already got!"

Swara closed her eyes. Trying hard to supress a sob, she said, "Laksh! Do you want to know the reason that I did not even try to come back?"

Laksh nodded.

"Because I knew when the truth will be out, noone will remain the same. I know what does guilt of losing parents and loved ones feel. I know how it feels when you have the chance and you could not save them. I did not want the guilt to be experienced by anyone."

"What?" Laksh said.

Swara sighed again.

"Nothing! Just try to understand! If I gave up everything in my life for giving a life to you all, I did not want it to be a rollercoster of guilt. I did what I felt right."

"Swara! Your words and talks are out of my understanding. But I know one thing!" Laksh said, "You are the best thing that happened to us!"

"Will you gift something to me?" Swara asked.

"Just tell once!" Laksh said.

"Your guilt. I don't want this to be in your eyes. I am fed up of being sympathized." Swara said, "You both are my friends. Can we be like those?"

Laksh nodded and immediately smacked her head, "Pagal!" He said.

Swara smiled. But she was a little tensed. Almost everyone had talked to her and vent out their feelings. However, it was getting a little overwhelming for her, but she was waiting for that one person. She knew his love was not even a bit faded. It was the same shade as it was 3 years back. She could still feel the warmth. But he was drowning himself in that ocean of guilt which Swara was fearing the most.

It was night. Not even for once Sanskaar came in front of her. She was twisting and tossing on bed. But Sanskar's eyes was not letting her sleep at all. For World, he was angry. But only she knew that he was in pain.

She finally decided to go to him herself only. But some footsteps stopped her. She turned her face and acted as if she was in deep sleep. It must be Ragini aur Annapurna aunty, she thought.

The door was unbolted from inside. She heard the opening of door. A few silent footsteps. Then, she felt a gentle touch over her hair. Swara knew the touch. How could she forget it! Even after these years, the care and the warmth was the same.

"I am sorry!" She heard Sanskar's voice. It was a accentuated with his tears. And then, she heard him going back.

Swara opened her eyes at once. The warmth had melt her heart too.

"I am the reason for your guilt." Swara said wiping her tears. Deciding something, she stood up and started to pack her bags.

She was thinking herself as a fool who, in a moment of extreme happiness forget the reason of her being away from Sanskaar. Every other person could move on in his or her life but Sanskaar! This immense love of him would cost him his happiness. It was good that she was away. He was better in her absence.