𝐏𝐨𝐢𝐬𝐨́𝐧 𝐈𝐯𝐲

𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟐𝟖.

ᴠᴏʟᴜᴍᴇ : ▮▮▮▮▮▮▯▯▯
'Ivy,' Frank Ocean🎶🎧

Armani's Pov
A few days passed by, and I had become even more distant from Ivy. Guilt was eating me alive, but for some reason, deep down, I felt it was the best option at the moment. During the time away from Ivy, as she immersed herself in work, I had been doing a lot of thinking and planning on how I'd work this out. Seeing Ivy in such a distressed state made me realize that she was right and that I wasn't taking my situation seriously enough.

The weight of my decisions and the impact they had on her became glaringly apparent, pushing me to confront my own shortcomings and find a way to make things right. But my perception of 'right' was vastly different from hers. Even entertaining these thoughts made me feel more selfish than I already did, but I believed it was ultimately for the best.

The only source of slight relief for me was knowing that Ivy was surrounded by wonderful people. She had devoted parents who were willing to sacrifice everything for her, a loyal best friend who would stand by her through any ordeal, and a successful life to lean on. In contrast, I lacked all of that. Apart from Ivy, the only thing I had to rely on was a shabby habit that was disgustingly difficult to break. I believed that Ivy genuinely loved me for who I was, but I knew that I never would.

No matter how much Ivy insisted that she was okay with not engaging in typical relationship activities, I knew deep down it was taking a toll on her. We couldn't go on regular dates, we couldn't travel together as often as we wished, and most importantly, we kept our relationship hidden from the public. While we both valued privacy, our situation went beyond that. We concealed our relationship for the sake of our safety.

I was holding her back.

Gazing down at the freshly released newspaper, my eyes swept over the sketch of me that adorned its front page. Now that Ivy had mentioned it, a wave of fear washed over me. It wasn't the potential repercussions from the police or the legal system that frightened me, but the thought of being abruptly torn away from Ivy. A single tear escaped my eye, landing on the sketch and slowly causing parts of the image to blur and fade.

The parts fading were connected to my face.

I gazed at the paper for a few more moments before a grin spread across my face, and soon, I erupted into a fit of laughter, throwing my head back while seated in my rocking chair within the living room, illuminated only by the flickering fireplace. The room was quiet and dim, with no one around. Amid my bitter laughter, the silence was so profound that had I not been laughing, I could have heard my own breath. Shedding tears was a sensation I hadn't experienced since my early teens. It felt strange, unsettling even, a vulnerability I was unaccustomed to.

I refused to be.

I quickly wiped my eyes and switched on the lamp next to me. Just as I stood up from the chair, a loud knock echoed through the room, startling me. I froze and glanced around the corner towards the door. Clicking my tongue in annoyance, I lifted my shirt to settle my hand on the gun in my waistband. I knew it couldn't be Ivy, as she always called before coming over, and I wasn't expecting anyone else. I cautiously approached the door and peered through the peephole, my face quickly falling at the sight of Ax standing there.