The Release

Chapter 52

Chapter 52

I woke up on Wayne's couch, alone. The sun was beaming directly o my body. A hot sweat coated my skin. My mouth was so dry that my tongue felt numb.

My head was a heavy as a boulder when I sat up. He was nowhere in sight. The house was silent, TV off, not even the sound of footsteps.

"Wayne?" I whispered, my throat getting used to speaking.

I walked down his hallway to find his bedroom door ajar. I opened it with a slight psh of my fingertips and peaked my head in. There he was in nothing but underwear, sprawled out on his bed with a pillow underneath his arm.

When he slept, he snored quietly. What an adorable sight.

I called his name in a hushed tone. After he didn't move, I tip-toed further into his room. The corner that haunted my every thought was stuck in my peripheral vision. I kept my eyes trained on Wayne.

My fingers grazed his back, cool and comforting. He shot up and got out of bed on the opposite side. I staggered back, surprised at his sudden movement and the effect my touch had on him.

Wayne swiveled his head toward me. His smile gradually sneaked up his cheeks.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you." I yawned.

"You didn't frighten me," he claimed, "it just woke me up."

We both shared an awkward laughter.

"I left you on the couch. I didn't want you to feel scared if I was out there with you. And I know you didn't want to come in here."

"Right." I stepped out of the room. "I should probably go."

"You don't have to leave." He walked around the bed. "You can stay here. Let me cook you breakfast."

I won't say no to that.

~

Shortly after I woke him up, Wayne put on a shift and some pajama pants. I met him at the kitchen table. We sat together and ate the scrambled eggs and sausage he prepared for both of us. I ate it in small bites so it would take longer to finish.

"So, do you want to talk about it?" Wayne prompted. I swelled my last bite, while he has been done for several minutes.

"I don't want you to be mad." I knew what had to be done.

"Why would I be mad at you?" He reached over and held my hand.

Wayne's hands were always soft and gentle. It pained me when I realized I didn't find it as comforting as it used to be.

"I can't be with you." I raised my chin and swallowed the lump in my throat.

Wayne slowly retreated his hand. He seemed to blink in slow motion. His mouth opened as closed as he tried to find the words to phrase the emotions he was feeling.

"It was proven last night that I can't be with anyone. I need to heal. Not only from you, bust also from everything that happened that night."

Wayne's body transformed into a statue. His Adam's apple bobbed on his neck. I could see his eyes filling with water.

"What did they do to you?" Wayne grit his teeth.

A tear fell down my cheek. "I don't remember."

He put his head in his hands. His breaths were few and far between. I folded my hands in my lap to prevent them from wandering.

"I can't e with anyone." My pointer finger rubbed the front of my thumb. "When we started to, um, do things together, I broke down."

"I will wait as long as you need." Wayne shook his head. "We won't do anything you don't want to. I won't try anything. Tell me what you need, Beth."

I closed my eyelids and the tears I had held back overflowed. I got a chill up my spine, like my body was rejecting my decisions.

"No, I can't do it to myself." I forced out a quick exhale and looked him in the eyes. "I know myself. I know us. We will say we won't do anything Then, we end up doing exactly what we did yesterday. Then, I would remember it and..." I paused. "I can't put myself through it."

Wayne bit his lips and tapped his fingers on the table. "I guess," he cleared his throat, "I guess there is nothing I can do to change your mind."

I shook my head. I didn't think it would end this way. I didn't think it would end at all.

We just sat there at the table, looking down at the place mats and our dirty dishes. Every once in a while, I would flick my gaze up to his face, taking in the shape of his nose and how defined his jawline was.

After several minutes, Wayne and I knew it was time. He walked me to the front door and opened it for me. Before I left, I stole a hug from Wayne. I wrapped my arms around his waist. Hi chest welcomed my head. I savored the scent of warm coffee that I would miss every second of every day. Wayne's hands rubbed my back and he gave my forehead a kiss.

We separated.

"Goodbye, Anderson." My words were bittersweet.

Wayne weakly chuckled. "See you later, Freeman."

~

Hello, again. One more chapter to go.