__________________________________________ maybe if you loved yourself a little more
I wouldn't have to be here keeping score
_____________________________________________
TIMOTHÉE WAS ONCE AGAIN LOCKED IN THE CONTAINMENT OF HIS APARTMENT, self wallowing with a mixture of guilt and self pity.
He enjoyed the silence for a while until he internally groaned at the sound of his front door opening. And as of late, only one person had been doing that- Lily.
Timothée closed his eyes and leant his head back against the couch trying his hardest to ignore the frustration that suddenly filled him at Lily's arrival.
"Hey timmy." Lily exclaimed happily as she sat down beside him on the couch, making it bounce slightly. Obviously something good had happened.
"Lily." he opened his eyes and looked at her, tried his hardest to give her a believable smile-at her reaction to it, it probably was more of a grimace-Timothée thought.
Lily sighed and reached up towards Timothée's hair and attempted to run her fingers through it. Only for her hand to get smacked away, a harsh glare sent her way as Timothée cradled his hair with both of his arms.
" don't touch my hair lily" he spat sharply, his words muffled as he had his arms still covering his head.
" what is going on with you!" lily demanded. "You are always so negative and you never let me touch you..... you're always zoned out and you never wanna talk to me! You never want me to help you with whatever is troubling you." she sighed heavily before looking back up at Timothée's cradled position.
" why can't you love me like you love her?" Tears filled up her eyes as she muttered short, broken words.
Lily tried to grab timothées chin to make him look at her, but once again her hand was pushed away almost instantaneously.
" you're not her." the fact that Timothée didn't need her to specify who she was talking about was enough-it made Lily's heart fill with dread, with emptiness. The exact emotion she knew Ivanna was feeling yet she didn't care at the time, she knows she should've cared now with how she was feeling. Lily wouldn't wish this type of pain on her worst enemies.
" then you won't mind if I leave then, right? If she means so much to you then?" when lily got no response she looked down at his curled up figure once more. " do us both a favor, tell Ivanna you love her-" she scowled at her name. " and get back together."
With that Lily practically ran out of Timothée's apartment, and slammed the door.
Silence was all that was left, silence that Timothée dreaded more than anything.
No beautiful singing in the kitchen, no records playing from Ivanna's extensive record collection. No sound of food being cooked, no homey smell or feeling in his cold apartment.
No orange Lilly's placed on every table, nothing about his apartment comforted him. The lack of fingers running through his hair, the lack of cinnamon and vanilla filling his nostrils whenever he hugged someone. Whenever he hugged lily.
Maybe he should listen to what lily said, maybe he should talk to Ivanna. It was all Timothée felt like doing, Ivanna lived in his thoughts constantly and it was slowly driving him crazy not being able to have her in his arms. Not being able to hear her in the early morning or be beside her cold body at night.
YOU ARE READING
tell your baby, that I'm your baby | ₜᵢₘₒₜₕéₑ cₕₐₗₐₘₑₜ
Fanfic'ᴛᴇʟʟ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʙᴀʙʏ, ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ'ᴍ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʙᴀʙʏ' |•. Russian singer songwriter "Ivanna Sokolova " and Timothée Chalamet were once a couple, Timothée left her because he thought it would be best. That he wasn't enough for her, for what she nee...
