Curious Jealousy- a F!Shenko Fic

Chapter Ten: Merry Christmas

There was only one pod that had yet to be opened. He knew that, inside, he would find Shepard and Joker (most likely Shepard using her limited field medic skills to try to patch up the broken bones that Joker had undoubtably obtained entering atmo).

She would look at him with her blue eyes that seemed to tell the story of her soul and smirk at him. Raising an eyebrow, she'd say, "Hey, Lieutenant, want to help me out here?" and, of course, he would.

Eventually, after Joker was taken care of and she had the crew doing various duties, she would come up with an excuse to get them a private moment, and she'd kiss him with more passion than was truly acceptable in their situation (after all, they had just been attacked by an unknown enemy and their...okay, her ship destroyed). But, it was Shepard and she never did things halfway.

She could go from no nonsense business to sexy, passionate...temptress.

And, god, how he loved her for that.

Then again, they had almost died, so maybe it was actually acceptable and called for (the rules against fraternization aside).

He opened the escape pod as quickly as he could, expecting to see her head pop out. He stumbled back when all he saw was Joker, sobbing and holding his ribs.

After a few minutes of staring uncomprehendingly into the shuttle, he asked, in a tight voice that betrayed the fact that his temper and fear was barely contained, "Where is she?"

Joker didn't look at him and with shaky hands, wiped his eyes. "Kaidan...I'm sorry."

Kaidan didn't say anything as he watched Joker struggle to unfasten his harness and struggle to his feet (a part of Kaidan's mind registered that Joker's arm appeared to be broken, but he didn't act on it). It wasn't until Joker stepped outside of the pod did Kaidan find himself breaking down.

"Where is she?" he demanded again, his voice low and on edge. He didn't want to alarm the other crew members.

"She didn't...it all happened so fast...I'm sorry..." Joker stammered, all evidence of joking- both tasteful and not so much- was gone. That was about the point that Kaidan began to grasp what had happened.

"Maybe she made it to another escape pod," he said frantically- grasping at straws.

There was no way that she was gone- not after all the promises they had made...not after that long night and lazy morning they had just had.

"She...they came around for another attack...she got caught in the explosion." Joker looked at him with haunted eyes that spoke more than any words he could say. "The last thing I saw her do was hit the pod expulsion button."

She was gone.

There was a part of Kaidan- a really big part- that wanted to let loose a biotic blast that would probably break every bone in a normal person's body- it would probably make Joker's brittle bones into dust. He fought against the urge to punch Joker or to ream his ass until the Alliance reinforcements arrived and they were returned to HQ for a debrief.

Instead, Kaidan took a higher road (just not the highest, since he didn't offer any help to Joker) and turned around to face the crew.

"Well, we all know that the Normandy was destroyed in an attack by an unknown enemy. Commander Shep-" he choked on a forming sob and shook his head to fight against it. "The Commander was killed while escorting fellow crewmen to escape pods." Looking around, he saw people crying- many of which hadn't been until he gave them the news of Shepard- and others in shock. "She managed to deploy a beacon before she was...before she was killed." Chakawas walked over to him and laid a hand on his shoulder.