Eight | W2S

FIFTY.

FIFTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (fifty exclamation marks I THINK) YAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!

BRISTOL SHOW 1.

"How are you feeling?" Harry asks, sat on the chair in my dressing room, whilst Jessie was currently on stage, opening for my first show in Bristol. 

"I feel like I'm going to be sick," I tell hm truthfully.

It wasn't a case of pre show nerves - well, it was, and it wasn't.

This show was personal. This was Bristol. This was the place I'd come to growing up to watch my own idols in concert, and now I was performing here. 

But that wasn't why it was personal. 

My dad was here. My friends from home were here. 

But that still wasn't why I felt like I was going to be sick. 

I had vivid memories of coming here with my mum, multiple times to watch our favourite artists in concert. 

Even just thinking about singing Lost Without You here made me feel a little faint. I was terrified of breaking down on stage. 

"You're going to be amazing, Kenzie. You always are. You can do this," he assures me, moving from his position to crouch beside me, taking my hand in his. "I'm gonna stand at the front, in front of the barricade. Every time you feel like it's getting too much, you'll have me cheering you on from the front," he reassures me, and of course, because it's him, it works. 

I gulp. "Okay. No, yeah, that seems doable. I just - fuck, this is so bittersweet. I don't know why I chose this venue. It was such a stupid idea -" I start to ramble, feeling my heart rate starting to rise too.

Harry noticed it as well, squeezing my hand. "Kenzie, breathe. You're self destructing." He takes both of my hands now, and counts my breathing, grounding me. 

We're interrupted by a knock on the door, and Sam peeks his head round the door, originally with a smile on his face, but it disappears slowly as he realises what's happening.

"Kenzie? Are you okay?" He asks, stepping into my dressing room, closing the door behind him. 

I nod my head, closing my eyes and breathing out of my nose. 

I can hear Harry starting to explain the situation to Sam, and I zone out slightly, trying to clear my head that is so full of memories of my mum, and just of Bristol in general. 

APRIL 2011

"Eight pounds for a coke is diabolical. We should've bought one from the shop," my mum groans under her breath, shaking her head as she hands over some cash to the bartender. 

"I told you, daylight robbery," I laugh, taking the drink from the bar, both of us heading back to the main floor of the venue, that was slowly filling up. 

"You are costing me a fortune," she laughs, clinking our drinks as we take our positions. 

"Let's call it an early birthday present?"

"Your birthday isn't for another three months!" She exclaims, shaking her head fondly. 

"Let's call it...you love your daughter more than anything in the world ever and you would do absolutely anything for her," I sweet talk her, innocently sipping my drink.