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જ ELAN: A Youngblood World જ ☾Abby☽

Title: ELAN: A Youngblood World.
Author: rinaXhazurina
Reviewer: Tricky_minds

Title: 7/10
I didn't really understand the title from the chapters that I read. What does ELAN mean? A youngblood world, yes, still a little more understandable and you get the vibe of fantasy and dystopia immediately from the title but that's it. The element of suspense is a nice touch but not something that immediately caught my interest.

Cover: 10/10
Perfect. The boys with the gleaming eyes, the shadow of the girl, maybe? Or did I imagine it? But yes, the vibe is perfect and it sets the expectations high.

Blurb: 10/10
No complains here. It introduces our characters, sets the theme and then we get to know the stakes.

Grammar: 9/10
I noticed that your tenses switched quite a lot. Your book was mainly in the past but some lines and sentences suddenly changed into present tense. I pointed out some of these shifts in the comments but a thorough re-read would help.

Story flow: 5/10
The flow in the first two chapters was perfect. While it did feel a little chaotic because of how many characters we were introduced to all of a sudden and then the out of the blue attack, it was interesting. The banter between the friends was wholesome and it kept me intrigued.

But if we talk about the last two chapters, it got boring very soon. The character's thoughts are lengthy and very hard to comprehend because of some of the words you used (I suggest using simpler vocabulary. It makes reading fun and simple). We got two chapters with nothing significant happening. There was A LOT of info dump. New words and new worlds and we know nothing of them. And you didn't even explain what those words meant. Words specific to your world only. You skipped over them, making me feel confused.

It would have been done much better if you would have removed some information that wasn't necessary for us to know right that second and then put it in the further chapters.

And why did the character immediately think of not spending time in nature and the academys and politics after waking up in a strange place? It felt unrealistic. The first thoughts in a situation like his are panic or maybe fear or curiosity to know what happened.

P.S: Did you change the name of the character? Because in the prologue and first two chapters, the name is Zakuro and then in the last two chapters, the name is Zakair. The character felt the same though. Maybe it's a mystery to be unraveled or maybe I'm wrong or missing something.

Characters: 5/10
Again, the first two chapters were great. The friend group, the dynamic and the personalities which clashed the others so perfectly.

As for the last two chapters, I would say I'm not able to comment fairly as not much about Zakair was revealed.

Setting \ World building; 7/10
We would get to know your world in more detail in the future chapters for sure but from what I've read, I've liked it and it has a lot of potential to grow into something awesome. Your descriptions could be shortened and simplified as I said above.

Originality: 5/10
We have a bunch of books with dystopia, magic and politics on wattpad as well as published. But no one book is like the other and yours definitely is nothing like I've read before.

Enjoyability: 5/10
You're a good writer but I'm guessing you took synonyms and vocab from google which makes your book feel very AI generated. It was difficult to read and it felt unrealistic. I felt detached while reading it. I wasn't able to connect with the characters and I had to re-read a bunch of sentences two or three times to register what it said (mostly it was just me being dumb)

I hope you understand what I'm saying. None of this is meant to offend you. These are my thoughts and my thoughts only. Maybe your readers love how you write and if that's the case, then you do what you're doing.

Total: 63/90