ultraviolence // kai anderson

that night

Two weeks had passed since that confusing night in Lacey's living room. Now it was the night of her 15th birthday, half an hour before I'd be dropped off at her house for her annual sleepover. Kai would be there, though he and Gregory were both under strict order to make themselves scarce after 9pm. Two teenage boys overnight in a house with five teenage girls would sound like a nightmare to most parents, but the Rosses either had the utmost trust in us or simply didn't give a shit what happened.
The rule they set still left me with 5 hours spent with Kai, and I hoped when he saw me he realized all the effort put into my look tonight. I sat at my vanity admiring my work in the mirror: my hair was straightened, my nails were in french tips, and I'd added false lashes and blush to my usual brow touch up and eyeliner. The goal was to look older than I was; I'd recently gotten the idea in my head that since we'd met as freshly 13 year olds, Kai may have a childish image of me stuck in his head. In addition to all that, I swapped out my mostly pastel wardrobe tonight for something a little more mature. The tiny, spaghetti strapped red tank top I'd gotten just for this clung all the places I needed it too, and tucked perfectly without wrinkles into my jean skirt. It was probably an inch too long to be considered a mini skirt, but it wasn't something you'd wear to visit your grandparents.

"Y/n, you 'bout ready to go? I'm getting my shoes on." I heard called down the hallway.

I finished my swipe of lip gloss that promised to be naturally plumping, then rubbed my lips together while I twisted the lid back on. "Ready."

//

Eric answered the door and graciously took the gift bag I'd brought from my hand to set on the table next to Lacey's cake. I was instantly greeted by her wide smile and wave, and her three friends from class followed her to come greet me.

The tallest was Mia; she also had the longest hair, and was the only girl we knew who'd rather wear her glasses than contacts. She was the quietest of the group, a direct opposite of Addison. Addison had been in gymnastics since she was about six, and everything she did and said had the energy of doing 3 back-flips. She had two braids along the side of her head, syrup colored skin, and a gap between her front teeth. Finally there was Chloe: who knew how she'd managed to develop the habit this early, but she was the stoner among us. Her eyeliner was always a little too thick and smearing, her forehead was just a little too tall, and she didn't mind occasionally being a side piece. But it was easy to forget that last part once you knew how charismatic and open-minded she was.

"Jesus y/n where'd you get that shirt?" she asked while looking it all over, trying to widen her sleepy eyes.

"Yeah," Addison's dark brown eyes widened. Where Chloe's voice seemed impressed, hers came off disapproving. "My dad would never let me leave the house in an outfit like this."

"Don't you wear a leotard like every day?" Lacey asked.

"Not every day. And that's different."

"Yeah it's worse, there's even more skin showing," Chloe added with a playful smile.

"But not like-- whatever guys I'm not judging! Just stating a fact." She defended herself, but no one was genuinely upset.

"I think your mom's waving you over," Mia uttered, pointing half-heartedly toward the kitchen. All of our heads turned to see that she was right, and Lacey waved a come on at all of us to follow her over. Where they'd all stood in front of me cleared, letting me see out of the sliding glass doors that led outback. There was a familiar head of brown hair sitting on the wicker bench they had on their back porch.

"Guys," I said once I did a mini jog to catch up to them. Lacey turned to face me. "I'll be there in a second, okay? My mom's calling," I lied as I held my phone towards my face. Lacey waved me off as if to say Of course, don't worry about it. And once none of them were watching, I slid my phone back in my pocket and slipped out the back doors.
Much to my dismay -- and nearly embarrassment -- Kai didn't even move once I was outside. I walked around in front of him and sat on the bench with him, as far as possible though so as not to seem overbearing or clingy.

"Hey," I croaked.

Finally his head snapped toward me, "Oh, hey."

Whether it was just his instincts that had his eyes dropping to my exposed legs or he just couldn't help it I couldn't be sure, but it was an ego boost either way. As was the way he gulped before averting his gaze back to a spot on the concrete in front of us.

"You okay?" I wondered out loud. "How come you're out here alone?"

He absent-mindedly scratched at his temple with two fingers, "Ah... nothing I need to burden you with."

I gave an incredulous head turn, "Come on. You didn't let me get away with not telling you my thing a few weeks ago."

He glanced over at me with the hint of a smirk, then went straight back to how he was just a fast. It was nice to see a positive reaction to that little call-back, and I hoped he'd build on it. Instead he said, "Well, I guess I'm just... can't stop thinking about my parents. They've been pretty bad off lately. I mean, they're always at each other's throats and shit but it's just been," he paused searching for the right word. "Different recently. Like, my mom's stopped even trying to argue back. She just has this look in her eye, like she's been defeated or something."

I listened intently as he confided in me, the rest of the world entirely tuned out.

"And it's not just me. I can hear my aunt and uncle whispering about them in there, not necessarily badly; just questions and shit but, I don't want them to ask me about it. I don't want to think about them really, I guess."

"Then forget them," I said as if it were simple. "Just for the weekend, just be here. This is Lacey's party, no one's gonna be pestering you about your parents. And if they do, I'll... knock the drink table over as distraction." He genuinely smiled at that and gave me another fond look, making my heart shoot to my stomach. I added, "But really, I feel for you. I'll be thinking of you and hope they do whatever's necessary to work things out, whether that's like, counseling, or divorce."

Kai took a deep breath in through his nose while nodding, looking like he was taking in the idea of his parents getting divorced. I wondered if I'd offended him or if he'd been wishing for that for a long time.

The glass door slid opening, interrupting our heart-to-heart. It was Mia.

"Lacey's mom made root beer floats, enough for everyone, and you guys' are melting."

"Oh," I stood, waiting for Kai to mirror me, but he didn't. "Coming."

Mia pushed her glasses closer to her green eyes and nodded, disappearing into the house again. I grabbed the door handle and asked, "Don't you wanna come inside?"

After only a split second he seemed to almost-- snort, and I was thoroughly perplexed. Then, oh. Oh, Christ. The words I'd just said hit me, and my face instantly matched the red of my shirt.

"Kai," was all I could say through my hand as it clapped over my mouth, with some attempt of an accusatory tone.

His genuine smile returned when he faced me, then waved at me to let me off the hook and said, "You can have my root beer float."

"Alright. Thanks," I muttered. "See ya."
I wished the back door of the house would take me to different dimension where I hadn't just said that to him, and tried to forget the fact that it's genuinely possible to die from embarrassment. The night had started so fun and promising; little did I know that was the last smile I'd see from Kai for nearly a decade.