ultraviolence // kai anderson

when we were kids

Nine Years Earlier

By this point we'd been a trio for nearly three years, and even when things were going well at the Anderson house, Kai still opted to come to Lacey's just to see us two. Despite never having explicitly saying so, little derogatory comments here and there from Amanda put a strain on her and Kai's relationship; none of us knew what reason she'd have to dislike him, but it was becoming increasingly obvious. He wasn't ever disrespectful to the adults -- at least not to their faces. One summer night, a few weeks before Lacey would turn fifteen and finally be the same age as Kai and I, everyone in the Ross household was retiring to bed one after the other. Gregory was first, though I doubted he was sleeping. I assumed he was still just too cool for the younger crowd.

"Can I trust you guys out here?" Lacey's father Eric teased as he rounded the couch. His hair was the same shade of blond as hers, but she had her mother's cobalt eyes as opposed to his green. The three of us knew no matter what we'd say, the outcome would be the same: him going to bed and leaving only us left in the living room.

"Of course daddy," Lacey beamed up at him, her head at an odd angle to see him behind where she sat on the loveseat. I kept my face straight despite my urge to laugh, or maybe cringe. I didn't know anyone over the age of 10 that still called their father that, but Lacey had always been a daddy's girl. She was his pretty clear favorite too. He tussled her hair and leaned down to kiss the top of her head, muttered a "Goodnight punks" directed at us, and disappeared down the hallway.

Kai leaned forward, to watch him until he was certainly gone, the motion causing his loose brunet waves to fall over his eyes. I looked away before he could catch me staring.

"Okay he's gone," he faced Lacey and I. "What should we set on fire first?"

"Nothing you little psycho," his cousin threw the remote at him, matching his playful smile.

He barely caught it, then stated, "I believe that'd make me an arsonist, actually."

She twisted up her face and mimicked him with an idiotic voice, "That'd make me an arsonist actually."

I smiled looking between them, enjoying the show and suddenly seeing that Lacey had more of a sibling relationship with him than she did Gregory. In the midst of our laughter, I caught Kai's eyes flick momentarily to me; it felt like a glance you'd sneak to make sure you were getting attention from that specific person. A split second of vulnerability to make sure they were enjoying the moment as much as you were, that they found you interesting and funny. I knew this look well because I'd subjected him to it countless times.

To pick a movie, we each put two options out there and went around Vetoing each other's answers until there was only one left, and we put that on. It ended up being some post-apocalyptic survival movie Kai had suggested. I tried to watch carefully, to see if there were some hints or themes that would give me insight to his true character or desires-- but I could hardly keep my head from falling forward in slumber. The only thing keeping me conscious was my phone periodically pinging with texts from a girl in my art class.

"Lace," Kai's voice broke what had to have been 45 minutes of silence. Lacey's head snapped up and she closed her mouth as she woke up. "You're literally asleep," he informed her with a humored smile.

"I'm literally not, I was listening," she argued and squinted her eyes at the TV to look concentrated.

"So you heard the part about him being immune?" I paused the movie and asked, amusement already evident in my voice.

"Of course."

"Ha!" Kai cackled, and was immediately shushed. He continued a second later in a proud whisper, "There isn't anyone immune in this movie. Go to bed."