ultraviolence // kai anderson

in the clear

    The next day, for Everett's benefit alone I pretend to struggle pulling myself together as I get into my car to leave. Lacey and I had taken at least one call from authorities each this morning, repeated everything we've already told them and previously gone over together so our stories match. There are moments I'm worried she's still sore at me about the whole thing, what with Gregory's death not having been something she agreed to. But then again, I'm truly innocent in that case. His blood is not on my hands -- well, figuratively it wasn't, at least.

    Whether or not I should feel guilty regardless is irrelevant to me; after all, what is morality to having Kai's love? What of it could be more rewarding or fulfilling than his covert admiration?
    I'm only in my house alone for about twenty minutes before he's entering without warning; he knows he's entirely welcome to anything I have or can offer, no exceptions.

    "How'd it go?" he drops into what used to be my ex-husband's recliner and pulls the lever for the foot rest to rise. "They buying it?"

    "Yeah," I resist the instinct to tack on I think to the end of my response. "Lacey's been a big help."

    His approval -- and maybe even pride -- is evident in his tone when he says, "Nobody does innocence better than you," then pats his right thigh for me to sit there. I can't help but blush as I saunter over to do just that. His strong arms encircle me and I lay back completely to rest my head in the crook of his neck. My hand closes over his when it comes to rest on my leg, and for a blissful moment we just sit like that, feeling and breathing each other in comfortable silence.

    Eventually, he asks, "What do you think of what happened?" Pauses, then a little quieter, "You okay?" He doesn't have to clarify that he's referring to Dave, I already know.

    "I'm okay. More than okay," I assure him. "Do you know how much and how long I've waited for anyone to care about what he did to me?"

    "If you aren't fully satisfied, I'll go back and do even worse," he tells me sincerely. "Just say the word."

    "No, it's alright. I can't think of anything more torturous than what he's going through."

    "If you're sure.." he says, and after I nod with a small smile he kisses my cheek without looking at me. Then he adds, "Makes me even more glad to have done what I did to Gregory. He never deserved you. Never."

    "If it makes any difference, I was never really his."

    There's a shift in the air at my quiet confession, having been obvious from the beginning but never spoken so outright. Pushing further, Kai's voice is a whisper next to my ear, "Then whose were you?" His hand slides to my inner thigh, making my breath hitch. The touch is just sensual yet gentle enough for the moment. "Whose are you?"

    I don't speak until his fingers have slipped into my underwear, and he doesn't slide them inside me until I breathe, "Yours."

Over the next ten minutes I feel him growing harder as he expertly and slowly drives me wild, then takes me right there in the living room.

//

    That night as I'd planned, we drove together to his house and slept with our limbs intertwined in his bed. I spent the next morning fake crying to authorities, and the night living it up with Kai and the remainder of the gang. Lacey indeed had joined us by this point, leading her husband to believe she's finding solace in Kai and I since we're her oldest friends and both knew her mother and brother.

    Amanda's funeral is tomorrow in fact, and though we've decided to all show up separately, me and Kai have also decided this is where our public interactions will begin. No one will question if I turn to him for comfort during all this, what with my husband missing and everything. It's the perfect gateway into eventually being a couple for all the world to see. I can't wait for that day.