ultraviolence // kai anderson

but it felt like true love

    Time stops, my hearing dulls and my vision blurs at the edges. Had I heard him right? I placed my blood covered hands flat on the floor and looked Kai in his face while shakily asking, "How do you know that?"

    "So many things have pointed to it for years," he shakes his head, his mouth becoming a flat line. "But if you wanna know how it was confirmed, that'd be the paperwork I found in Amanda's bedroom on Thanksgiving night. My father's will specified exactly who his assets were to be inherited by when he said his oldest son."

    My mouth falls open slightly. That's what had him so untameably pissed; it seemed reasonable now. "Wait," my brows come together. "Your dad, he cheated with... his sister in law? Amanda did that to her own sister?"

    "Lack of respect for your siblings must run in the family," Kai tilts his head toward the body sprawled before us. There's actually amusement in his voice, meanwhile I'm fighting the urge to vomit or faint or both.

    "God," I swallow hard and look to the messy floor. His brother. Gregory was his brother. I'd been married... to Kai's brother. "W-Who knows?"

    "You, me, Lacey, and of course the irredeemable mother of betrayal herself, Amanda Ross."

    Lacey. That must be why she was avoiding me. I wondered how she found out, and what her reaction was when she did. That was certainly a conversation I'd have to have later, but first there was way more I needed to know here and now. When I find the courage to speak again, I still can't look up at Kai. "Did he know?"

    "For about five seconds before his throat was slit: he didn't have much to say after that."

    With all the emotions swirling in my head and heart, some I haven't even identified yet, anger comes to the surface now as I rise from my spot on the ground. Kai mirrors me immediately and we stand face to face just feet apart. "Will you stop?" I snap. "This isn't entertaining to me, Kai. I mean, are you serious? Right in our own house?"

    He seems mildly taken aback but not necessarily concerned, and certainly not remorseful. "Would you prefer I'd actually taken him on a cruise and killed him on the deck after a nice breakfast?"

    "He was right about one of the things he told me about you," I begin in monotone. "You are insane."

    "And you love me," he retorts immediately. "So what does that make you?"

    I'm frozen in disbelief, and almost tear up from humiliation because despite everything, he's not wrong at all. Only seconds pass after he says it before I shake my head and an adrenaline rush has me acting without thinking. I shove his chest, but he hardly loses any balance before he's pushing me right back with probably triple the force. My back hits the open bathroom door when I stumble.

    "Watch yourself," he warns in my face, but my indignant expression doesn't change. "Unless you really wanna see insane." He's mocking me, but something in his voice gives away that my words might've actually wounded him.

    I look him over, thinking over his recent statement as I choose my next words carefully. "Why did you really do this Kai?"

    "You know why."

    "What, 'cause he was your secret half brother?" I badger on. "He can't help who his parents are."

    A look of contempt is there and gone, and then he's right back to the snarky attitude of before. "I don't think he can do much of anything anymore."

    I don't take the bait, but instead use my anger -- just like he told me to -- to push him further. I can tell, subtle as it is, I'm getting to his head. I must've pulled this brazen audacity from the depths of my soul, because I never imagined I'd be talking to Kai this way. And by his defensive demeanor, I know he didn't either.