Married to Mr. Reid

Chapter 32

Amber

It's been three days since I kissed Isaac, I don't know what came over me but sitting in close proximity with him, with his eyes fixed on me did something I can't quite comprehend. I blame it on my periods, it must be my periods, I can't fuck up this big on my own, right?

I read and re-read the computer screen in front of me trying to complete my work for the day but the truth is, ever since I kissed Isaac, my mind has taken a course of its own. Those deep ocean eyes staring into my soul, how soft his hair felt under my touch, how his body was pressed against mine as we devoured each other's mouths... I'd imagined him to be rough but all I remember now is how gentle yet passionate he was, it's like I could still taste him on my lips, his minty breath on my face... God I'm messed up!

A knock at the door brought me back to reality, it must be Christine "Come in" I said and my eyes went wide when I saw Isaac enter my room looking distressed. I've been avoiding him for the past three days because I didn't have the courage to tell him what I really thought and mainly because I didn't want to confess that I was at fault here. I shouldn't have kissed him.

"Hey" he said loosening his tie, he just came back from work and the first thing he does is confront his 'oh so not wanted wife?' I don't like this already.

"Long day at work?" I asked trying to keep it casual whilst he took a seat on the edge of my bed.

"Kind of" he answered "We need to talk, Amber" he finally added with a sigh, he really was distressed.

"I know, I know and I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have done that. I don't know what got over me, maybe it was my period or maybe I was acting stupid but I promise this won't happen again, I'm so sorry Isaac" I said all in one go but he didn't seem convinced, I stood up from the chair I was sitting on and went to sit beside him, keeping a fair distance between us because I can't take anymore chances.

"Do you regret it?" he asked, his voice hoarse and eyes fixed on my face.

"I crossed a boundary" I said with a loud exhale "I don't know what got into me that day, I don't want any more complications in this arrangement of ours, we already have a lot on our plates and getting involved like this would only bring more complications" I added.

"You didn't answer my question" he stated and this time I looked at him, I don't know what it is but there's something wrong with him, for a man who hated my guts only a month ago he sure is being very calm about a situation like this, if I tried kissing the old Isaac, he would've flipped out.

"Of course I do, I regret it and I'm sure you do too. It took us a lot to reach a point where we were able to become friends but I went ahead and did something so stupid" I told him burying my face in my hands.

"It wasn't all your fault" I heard him say, it almost sounded like he was whispering. Gently he removed my hands from my face and looked at me with earnestness. My breathing faltered but I tried to calm myself, I can't let his stares effect me like this.

"Don't stress yourself over the kiss, stuff happens" he said and this time he sounded like the old Isaac, I simply nodded to what he said wishing he'd leave me alone already and fearing that I've lost his friendship.

"We're still friends, right?" I asked anxiously, if he went back to being the old Isaac, I don't know how I'd survive the upcoming months!

"Of course" he replied but it didn't sound convincing.

"I'm so sorry Isaac, for putting you through all this... you know, I don't want to put you through a complicated situation again. You know how we both were thrust into this marriage, especially you because you had no idea about this whole situation and you hated it from the beginning, you hated me and blamed me for everything, and it took us a lot to reach this point" I said waving my hand between me and him.

"Maybe somewhere, I am to blame for saying yes to this marriage even after knowing everything and I remember feeling broken and shattered after you left me right after our wedding, I never imagined my life like this and I'm sure you didn't as well but I was only seeing things from my own perspective, forgetting to consider your point of view in it and while I do believe you were unnecessarily harsh on me sometimes, you too were suffering in your own way. If things get intimate between us, it'll complicate everything and I can't do that to you or myself... we both need our freedom" I was almost breathless by the time I finished my mini speech but I felt good, it felt nice to say these things out loud, to confess what had been going on in my mind for quite some time now.

Isaac's response was somewhat amusing to me though. He didn't say anything, he looked at me lazily and kept nodding slowly, taking in everything I just told him. I was waiting for a response but all I got was "Be ready by 8, Alex is throwing a party" and with that he stood up and left the room without waiting for my response.

I groaned in frustration, is the old Isaac back? Will he start making my life hell again?

The one thing I can't quite decipher is, why is he upset? Did he come in expecting me to throw myself at him? I mean he didn't exactly make anything clear as to how he felt about the kiss we shared but still.