Forever Yours

Chapter 1

"Chrys! Wake up, you're gonna be late for school again!" I groaned and rolled over in my bed. School could go royally screw itself. I was only a freshman and I was already sick of it. I had been so excited to start high school, but after the recent midterms and the crap that went along with a new semester, I was over it.

My door slammed open. "Chryci Blanche Cross. Get your ass out of bed this instant before I make you wish you'd never gone asleep in the first place." I paled at my mother's threat and jumped out of bed. I stumbled over and fell face flat and groaned at my stupidity. You don't jump out of bed that soon. Mama stormed out of the room after telling me I had 5 minutes to get dressed, eat, and brush my teeth. 

I pulled on my white collared polo along with my black Dickeys pants. My school had a dress code so I wasn't allowed to wear a tee and jeans. I looked at the girl behind my door. She was hideous. The nappy red hair, the pudge of a stomach, the freckles, the glasses. I was disgusted with her. I wiped away a few tears as I turned away from the glass. 

I picked up my book bag and threw it over my shoulder. I stepped into my slip ons and grabbed my box of tictacs. I couldn't waste time to brush my teeth. I needed to get out of the house. I needed to get away from my issues. And even though I hated facing the fact, school was the one place that I was safe as I could be. At home, I felt like an outcast. I was alone. I was dangerous to myself.

I murured a "have a good day" to Mama and walked into the building with my head down. I pulled the sleeves of my jacket down. I couldn't risk them being seen.I trudged down the hall to advisory. I walked into the bathroom stall by the choir and band rooms. I sank down with my back against the wall. I sucked in a shaky breath and then it came. My walls came down and the levee broke and I cried. I spent the half hour period sitting in that stall clutching my sides as the pain poured out of my eyes. I thought back to a week earlier.

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The door boomed against the wall as my mother picked me up out of bed. "You get into that fucking dining room right now, young lady." I walked down the short hallway trembling about what ever I had done wrong this time. My mom grabbed her laptop off the couch from the living room and looked at me as she opened it.

"What the fuck is wrong with you Chryci? No, don't answer that." She stared at me with anger flaring in her eyes. Her face got even redder as whatever was on her mind lingered. "I looked at your facebook messages. I never knew I had raised such a slut." I flinched at the word as I felt a stabbing in my heart and stomach. I knew what she was talking about now.

"You think it's cool to message guys on here and tell them about how you wanna fuck them? That you wanna give them your virginity?" Tears welled up at her screaming. My stepdad walked past me to my room with a toolbox. "You're losing your door to your room. That way you can't 'masturbate' like you tell this guy you love to do." I nodded and wiped away tears. She ordered me back to bed with a look of disgust. I walked through my doorless room and laid on my bed. I sobbed myself to sleep.

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I pulled up the sleeves of my jacket and looked at the cuts on my wrists. The words rattled around my mind as I thought about everything. Slut. Fatass. Stupid. Ugly. Worthless. Slut. Fatass. I put my hands over my ears and begged for it to stop. I heard the bell ring and I raced to first period.

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"Mama, I'm home!" I set my bag on the couch and went into the kitchen. Mama handed me the broom and ordered me to work. I started sweeping. Throughout the rest of the day, I did chores and Mama told me what I'd done wrong. I stood in my room for several minutes 'putting up clothes'. I thought about everything and decided to have a headache. I walked out and got 8 Aspirin. I continued to work and decided that the pain wasn't going away so I took 10 more. The day flashed by and I don't remember anything else.

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I passed a note to Elizabeth is algebra. I told her what I'd done and that I wanted to double the amount each night until I was gone. 18. 36. 72. So on so forth. She turned around and helped me with the work. As the bell rang, I asked her for the note. "Huh?" she cocked her head. "Chrys I already gave it back to you." I double checked my bag and my pockets and my desk and it was missing. I walked to geography with a heavy mind and a nagging fear. I pulled down my jacket sleeves and pulled out the lesson notes. During the slideshow, there was a knock on the door.

"Hi, can I see Chryci please?" I stared at Ms. Reeder, the counselor. I walked into the hallway scared as hell. "I received a note that you attempted suicide. I nodded and told her everything. And then she explained to me how hard her life was and why mine isn't so bad. She put me on suicide watch and called Mama. The school started a fire drill and as I was walking out, my mom showed up.

She hugged me. "Babygirl, what's going on?" I shrugged my shoulders and tried to ignore the fact that I was really sick. She checked me out of school and we went to pick up my stepdad. Afterwards, I saw a series of doctors. Within hours, I was sitting in the lobby of the mental hospital, CedarCreek.

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The picture above/side is of Chrys.