So High School

Done.

as always....

TW!

I couldn't even drag myself out of bed this morning. There's nobody home today to yell at me to go to school, so I just stay in my bed.

Just like every morning, though, I open up my favorite drawer and pull out a shard of glass. I'm so fucking done with everything.

I cut deeper and harder then I ever have before, the tears pouring out of my eyes until I can't breath. I cut deeper into my arms until they start to shake and I can't hold the glass anymore.

If I had went to school today, I don't think I would've made it through the day. People are already spreading rumors about me. About how I raised my grades so fast. They're right, of course. But at what cost?

Even Midnights and 1989 are talking about it. I couldn't even have any real damn friends.

I bring my knees up to my chest and tuck my head into my arms. God why am I so useless? Couldn't even stop my teacher. Couldn't even do my schoolwork. Couldn't even be pretty. Couldn't even be a good person. Who even wants me here?

I just lay and cry for a while. I start to get a headache from sobbing so hard. This is why I don't cry.

After sitting on the floor for about forty five minutes, I walk downstairs to grab some ibuprofen for my head.

I open the medicine cabinet and am greeted my all sorts of over.. and under the counter drugs. My brain starts to fill up with thoughts. I mean, if I were to just swallow the whole bottle and die, it wouldn't matter too much right? Nobody would even notice until I didn't unload the dishwasher.

And in that impulsive moment, I grab a couple bottles of whatever medicine I find and walk up to my bathroom.

I start to think about what I could do. Most people write letters before they kill themself, right? But I don't have anyone I love to write to. Fuck it, just do it.

I open the first bottle and pour a handful of pills in my hand. I shove them into my mouth and swallow them, my mouth dry. My arms are still shaking from the cuts on my arms when I grab the second bottle.

The rest of the pills I take are a blur, but soon enough, three empty bottles are laying on the counter.

What do I do now? Just sit here, waiting to die? Call my dad and cuss him out one last time? I start to reach for my phone, but my vision is starting to get blurry, and I can't remember where it was.

I lay in my bathtub and just stare at the wall, my arms crossed. It's funny, thirty minutes ago I was crying myself a river... no more like an ocean, but now, I couldn't cry if I wanted to. I just feel numb. There's nothing important enough in life to cry for.

I just lay in the bath, the blood from my arms starting to drip out of my sleeves and go down the drain. Why the fuck am I still here?

I start to stand up to grab another bottle of medicine, but I can't move. Shit. As soon as I try to get up, all of my muscles fall weak, and I'm left laying in my bathtub.

It's scary, just feeling the life start to fade out of you. My vision starts to become a tunnel, only a blurry vision of the wall in front of me remains. The sounds around me of the laundry going across the wall start to disappear.

I let out a weak laugh when I realize I can't feel my body anymore. I'm pretty much deprived from all my senses except for my thoughts, and a small light in front of me that is slowly shrinking.

I start to wonder what everyone's reactions to me would be. My father would probably be relieved that he doesn't have to deal with me anymore. 1989 would probably fall back into a slump, and her ED would get worse. I was the only string holding her together. Midnights would probably be too high to even care. There's nobody else I can even think of that cares enough about me to notice I'm gone.

I notice a tear drop from my left eye when the remaining vision I have goes black.

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Lovers POV

I'm knocking on Rep's door for our tutoring session. She should be here, according to her dad. But she didn't come to school today, so maybe she's sick and asleep?

I ring the doorbell again and a cool breeze makes the hair on my arms stand up. I don't know how much longer I can stand here and wait. I know her room is in the corner of the house, so I'll just walk around back and see if I can see her in the window.

It's really rainy outside, and I get water in my shoes when I walk through the grass.

Her room is empty when I look through her window. Where the hell is she? Her window is unlocked, so I just open it up and walk inside.

"Rep? Are you here? We have a tutoring session today, did you forget?" It's making me anxious, just walking into her house without permission. I feel like I'm committing a crime. OH MY GOD. I AM. I JUST BROKE INTO HER FUCKING HOUSE.

"oh no oh no oh no I'm going to go to jail!" I start pacing around the hallway, thinking about what to do. What if she has security cameras? What If I get put in juvey?

I'm not a bad girl, I promise. I start to breath heavily, and my hands start to shake. She doesn't even like me! And I don't want to be here either! Right? Damn it mind, this is not the time to be thinking about how hot she is.

My legs start to feel like Jell-O and I sit on her bed. I'm having another panic attack, shit. I get them a lot, but this one is bad. I just committed a crime. I'm literally the definition of a 'goody-two-shoes' why did I break into her house?

I start to calm myself down, counting up in multiples of three. I start to feel normal around 78. Okay, I'll just use her bathroom and wash my face, and then get out of here.

I walk across the hallway to use the bathroom and find her laying in the bathtub next to a bunch of pill bottles.

1089 Words

Okay I got some shower thoughts last night and now have new story ideas. Should I wait to finish this one, or do two stories at the same time? I need answers please, or your not getting the next part. (respectfully)