So High School

Forgive Me

Reps POV

I was angry at my mom.

I was angry at my mom and her stupid cheerful face. The fact that she could just leave me with my abusive dad to go off and grow up with another kid.

If someone's going to have a shitty mom, it'd be Karma. I guess the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree.

There was only so much longer I could plaster a smile on my face and nod while I talk to her.

"Okay 'Tation. I have a big question for you. Would you want to come live with me?" The fuck?

What the actual fuck?

I just laughed, throwing my head back. "Are you fucking serious?"

She looked surprised, and i saw her chin drop slightly. "I- Yes?"

"You have the audacity to ask me that after you fucking left me? You fucking left me with my abusive father to whore up and have another kid." I rolled my eyes and scoffed. I couldn't even grasp the idea that she'd even ask me that.

"Your right. I shouldn't have left. I owe you an explanation. Want to sit down?"

She gestures to a small area of couches behind us. Well if I'm here I might as well find out why she left me.

She seems nervous. I watch as she sits down, and starts fiddling with a ring on her middle finger. "So first of all, I should've found a way to bring you with me. I hate myself every day for leaving you in that environment. But it wasn't really an option at the time. You see, Karma's dad had died, and if I didn't leave, Karma would've had no parents. I begged your father to let me take you, I couldn't bear the idea that you couldn't come."

She didn't seem to beg very hard then.

My mom continues. I notice I look a lot more like my mom than I do my dad.

"I had to get out of there. When the opportunity to leave with Karma arised, I had to take it. He treated me a lot worse than he did at the time. Well I obviously don't know how he is now, my life was in danger when I was there."

I wasn't sure how to feel. My head was spinning, and I felt sick from my mixed thoughts. I knew he hurt me when I was younger, but I never knew he hurt her. But hearing that gave me a sense of closure, and all the puzzle pieces were coming together.

How "clumsy" she was, always bumping her head or bruising herself. The late nights I'd come hug her and she'd be crying, saying she was sad and not saying why. The flinching.

I wasn't upset at her anymore, instead I was upset at myself for being mad at her. I couldn't build the words to say anything to her,m so I just leaned in, hugging her.

"I'm sorry, mom. I'm really, really, sorry." I whispered in her ear.

"No need to be sorry, baby. Let me get you out of there." She met my eyes, and I noticed they were almost identical. Is that why my dad hated me? I reminded him of her?

But she lived too far away. I'd have to leave Lover. "Mom, I don't know if I can just leave my life, leave all my friends behind."

"I understand that. It felt horrible to leave all of you behind, but it's better for you to be in a safe environment. I'm not going to force you to do anything."

I hated that I wanted to go with her. I hated that I wanted to leave Lover. This was too much to spring on me at once. I could feel the tears start to form pools in my eyes, and I fell into my mom's arms.

"Okay." I said quietly. "When are we going?"

"Tonight me and Karma are flying back. If it helps at all, Karma's going to miss her new friends at this school. She knew she'd be going back of course, but then you two can bond over that." Oh yeah. Karma. Bleh. I mean, I'd get used to it.

---------

Rep 🖤
Lover, can we talk? I don't
want to do this over text.

My Love 💗💗💗
Shit are you breaking up
with me? What did I do?

Rep 🖤
no i'm not breaking up with
you lover.

My Love 💗💗💗
oh, okay. I actually can't call
right now, I'm at a family birthday

Rep 🖤
alright, I'll do this over text

Rep 🖤
we need to go long distance.
I'm leaving with my mom.

My Love 💗💗💗
what? But I thought she-

Rep 🖤
kinda a long story, I'll tell
you when you can call

My Love 💗💗💗
okay :( whatever's best for
you is what I want

My Love 💗💗💗
although I'm crying in front
of my three year old cousin
right now

Rep 🖤
I'm really sorry. I'll make it up
to you, I promise. But it's better
for me if I go with her

My Love 💗💗💗
that's all that matters.
When are you leaving??

Rep 🖤
don't hate me

Rep 🖤
tonight.

I saw the grey bubbles pop up on my screen, bouncing on top of the keyboard. But then they went away, and I got a facetime call.

When I picked up, Lover was sitting in what looked like to be a bathroom, her mascara smeared and her face red. My heart dropped. This was better for me, right? We could make long distance work.

"So, I don't get to see you again?" She said after just crying on the screen for a little bit. her voice was hoarse, shaking slightly.

"I'll try to come back as much as I can. But, it's a safer environment for me there. My mom won't hurt me like my dad. Please don't be mad."

"Why the hell would I be mad?" She laughed slightly, which got turned into another round of sobs. "I want the best for you, even if that means we are never going to see each other again."

I smiled at the screen. She was so understanding, what did I do to deserve her? I watched as her face turned slightly less red and her hiccups slowed down. But then, Karma knocked on the door to the empty room I was in.

"Rep, they're about to start the church service, come on."

"Is that Karma? Rep why are you with her?" Lover's eyes were frantically looking around the screen.

"I said it was a long story." I smiled at her, in which she calmed down knowing I was okay. "Look, I have to go, I'll call you back as soon as I can."

"Okay. I love you." She said, blowing a shaky kiss at me through the screen before I hung up.

Well, there I was. Starting a new life, with a new family. It would be hard to adjust to, but there it was. I opened the door, where Karma gave me a tense smile.

"Mom said I had to be nice now since your living with us."

When I walked out and looked around at my family, I felt a sense of community. Some form of love I never had. I may have been at a funeral, but I felt a new life starting.

The end.

---

Welp, that's it.

I wanted to start by saying thank you to everyone that's joined me on this journey. I've never wrote anything before, and you guys were so wonderful and kind to me while I was writing. I know it's a fast ending, and kinda rushed, but that was the best option available for this story.

I have another story called Only Me and You available on my page if you don't know what to read now lol.

This is your reminder that you should always take care of yourself, and find the right people that make you happy. Even if it's someone you'd never expect.

Love you, Good night,
Lily.