Hello readers,
I cannot even believe I am writing this but at the same time this is something I've been meaning to 'get over with' for a long time....like years lol. But here I am! Don't expect this update to be like really nice grammatically though because I don't have the time for that because I HAVE TO FINISH THIS DAMN BOOK BASICALLY!!!!! I have many things I want to address and also of course the elephant in the room (literally cough cough cough), so I will break this up into parts, it may or may not be sentences idk yet I'm literally just writing what my brain is thinking rn..... So without further ado, here is my update:
Where have I been:
-I have been hard studying throughout high school to get into a good university (this paid off).
-I rediscovered my passion for law through debate (more on that later)
-Working my ass off in college and having fun.
-I haven't written creatively outside of like my senior lit class (which was a pretty cool short story if anyone is interested. It's a combination of a Picture of Dorian Gray and an obsessed artist trope).
Why did I stop writing:
-In all honesty, I felt uncomfortable. Bend the Rules is and was an amazing story created in my mind and with the at the time true obsession with 1D I felt like that would be a great way for my story to be noticed. And it truly was. Therefore I kept writing. I fell in love with this fictional world I created but morally I felt weird writing about REAL people. In my mind, Niall Horan is a character that just fits with the real life characteristics and ofc the songs. The songs are integral to the storyline in ways y'all have no idea yet..... but still the back of my mind kept telling me I was wrong and "perverted" and childish to be writing what is truly fanfiction. The Boys within the stories are envisioned to be like actors playing a part, a concrete face to a character. So in this aspect, I'm forcing myself to get this over with.
Why I have chosen to come back to writing:
-Like stated in my announcement, a LOT of time has passed and I am aging. I am pushing the big 20 and I feel like this is something I need to get done while Im a teenager and can use that excuse.
-"Now if you feel weird about it or want to force yourself to finish it, why are you even doing it?" Because I don't want to quit and I need to see this plot line from my head manifest into 'print'. I have it all played out in my mind like a movie. And I want to share it with the people who were genuinely interested in it. The endless support and amazing comments have been in the back of my head and I keep thinking "I made these people become interested and they support the work and I keep them hanging for 3 damn years". So I also wanna do it for those who did support me in the beginning.
-I went through a very rough time when I was writing BTR and it was an escape from an emotionally abusive situation in my house. Escaping to create this story and YES have it involve my (at the time) fav boyband, gave me some sort of happiness I needed. I feel like I owe the younger me this "victory".
-Part of me just wants to see what will happen if I finish it. Ive had so much fear the unknown for my whole life and I just wanna say "fuck it" with this and just get it done.
-Brittany Broski recently revealed on an episode of Royal Court with Cole Sprouse that she was 19 when she wrote the Gulf War fanfic about him. She claimed it was quote "way too fucking old" end quote. And I agree, my almost grown ass should not be writing -shudders- fan fiction, and so that's why I have decided I need to either get it done before I turn 20, or never finish it....... sooooo
YOU ARE READING
Bend The Rules• njh
FanfictionToni was broken after the love of her life, Luke, suddenly left her life forever. It felt like a hole was ripped through her heart. Not only did Luke's absence from Toni's life leave her with emotional distress but also some physical troubles. She b...
