Bend The Rules• njh

11⌝ Mystery Girl

**We hit 1K reads!! OML IM ECSTATIC! I will be discussing my celebration plans at the end of the chapter so if you're interested, make sure to read the author's note at the end. Thanks loves :)) IT IS ALSO LIKE BASICALLY OFFICIAL THAT ZAYN AND GIGI ARE HAVING A BABY!!! That is going to be the most gorgeous child ever and I am so so happy for them!

Song of the Chapter- They Don't Know About Us by One Direction

"Got you your other best friend, Mr.Merlot," Monica giggled, handing me a wine glass with the darkly colored drink inside.

I gladly accepted her offer sunk back into the couch, "Well don't mind if I do. Also thank you so much for letting me hang out today. A day to just chill and relax was very needed."

"Of course," Monica squealed leaning over to hug me, "but too bad Tessie couldn't make it."

"Yeah she has some, um, some plans," I snickered as I sipped on the glass in my hand while messing with a pillow with my other.

Monica looks at me quizzically, trying to decipher what message I was trying to convey. She gives up and scoffs, "Well then what plans could be more important than girls day?"

I giggle back at her, trying to keep composure, "Zayn."

Her eyes grew wide in shock, with her mouth practically falling off of its hinges. "Do not tell me that girl left us, her girls, for an appointment," Monica spoke sassily, raising her voice.

I wiggled my eyebrows at her, "I think so." "But hey," I continued on, swirling the dark liquid around in its glass, "could I talk with you about something." Monica nodded back understandingly and sunk into the couch, grabbing her glass. I took a deep breath and fiddled with the blanket strewn across my legs, "So you know that after what happened with Nolan that I had lots of panic attacks and episodes," I trailed off. She gave another nod, her eyes filling with sorrow and those sad memories. "Well um, this is hard to say I guess. But I've, I've had some episodes recently. And they're like the ones before but progressively got more, well more immersive. I guess that's the word I could use," I messed even more with the blanket, anxiously fidgeting with it. Her face wore an expression of fear and remorse. I continued on, "Like they were short at first but. Like yesterday with Niall, I was so immersed that when he was calling for me, it was like I could hear it but I couldn't. I was like, fully in it."

Monica finally spoke up, her voice almost quivering, "My god Toni, have you told anyone? That's, that's not a good sign, that's getting dangerous."

"No. I haven't told anyone besides you. I figured they weren't anything to worry about but it got scary when I forgot where I was for a bit with Niall," I said in a hushed voice. I never wanted to admit it but I had never been that scared in my entire life. Well maybe there was another time.

"I think it'd be a good idea to get back with your therapist. And even consider getting back on that medication, you know just to help," she suggested, as she took a sip from her glass of wine.

No. Hell no. "I don't need any help. I'm fine. It's no big deal. I knew I shouldn't have said anything," I debated back, thoughts crossing my mind a million miles a second.

Monica sighed in reply, clearly trying to keep her calm, "Toni. I am not mad at you. But, I just don't want you getting hurt. Getting help would make all of this easier to handle and manage. Did Niall at least take care of you?"

"Yeah yeah he did," I spoke softly as the memories of yesterday flooded my head, "he was a little confused at first but he did comfort me. I felt like so bad 'cause I practically ruined that whole date he planned." I gulped down some of the drink in my hand, trying to distract from the fact that I was being so open.