So High School (Chris Evans) 18+

12

Chris: Sorry to hear about you and Daniel. Hope you're doing ok.

Is he sorry? Really? I doubt it because I'm not. At first I went through the motions, wondering whether I really was doing the right thing, feeling some guilt about just leaving the ring on the kitchen counter without so much as an explanation - but then I remembered the shit that Daniel had actually put me through, and it was more than I realised.

So yeah, I'm doing fine.

Tam: I'm good. Thanks for checking up on me.

And that's it for that conversation. That was a couple of months ago and since then nothing. I toy with the idea of messaging him, but I don't. I need to just keep my head clear and focused on work and where I go from here.

Of course Daniel was begging me to come back, then when he realised that I was standing my ground, he became angry. Angry in a way I've never known him to be before. My parents and friends say that was him realising he no longer would have any control over me and they were right. I've blocked his number, deleted all trace of us on Instagram so now it's just a feed of me being single for the first time in years, and enjoying life. It's my birthday soon, so for once I'll celebrate the way I want to. Not at some fancy restaurant where I don't even like half the food they serve.

"You sound so much better". Libby says as I speak to her one evening. She's actually been in contact a lot more, and I wonder whether being with Daniel meant she couldn't really have a chance to talk to me as much as she'd liked to. Either way, I'm grateful to have my cousin looking out for me.

"I feel it". I admit. "I just feel...light? If that's how you describe it".

"You putting on weight again?"

I pause. "Kinda...to be honest I've not really been eating right since the split, just the stress of everything, and I wasn't in a great place for a short time. I'm trying to get back at it though".

"What if I told you that you have a plane ticket sitting in your emails right now?"

I put her on speaker and open my emails, seeing everything on there. She's booked me a flight to Boston, and it's around the time of my birthday when I'll be there. "Libs!"

"Happy Birthday! You get Boston!" She half sings down the line.

"Don't tell Cody, but you're my favourite". I laugh.

"Meh, he's always known". She laughs. "But honestly, I can't wait to see you again, you can do whatever you want and when. I kept the return open, in case you didn't want to stay too long or too short of a time".

I sigh happily. "That sounds amazing, I just...I need to get away again. The last few months have been up and down".

"Well Jake and I can't wait to have you. You might even get to see Chris if he's back?" She adds in knowingly.

I stay quiet for a moment before I finally speak. "Yeah...maybe".

"Have you spoke to him recently?"

"Couple of months back, he texted me and asked if I was ok. That was it". I brush it off and try not to feel too disappointed that things still don't seem right like I would like them to be. "Anyway, he's probably busy".

Libby agrees. "I know Lisa's said to Mom that he's round the clock filming currently. He's due back around the time you're here though".

"Well, we'll see. Anyway thanks Libs, you're the best".

"What are cousins for eh? Anyway talk later, I've gotta head back to work".

We ring off and I sit back with my glass of wine, now clearing my diary and rescheduling clients. If they're unhappy then whatever, where the old me would give a crap? This one doesn't. I need the time off, and to live the life I want. It's also the beauty of freelance. I'm in control, and for once, it's control over everything.

I fall asleep watching some boring series on Netflix, and wake up a few hours later, switching the TV off and heading up to bed. My phone has one unread message on it that was sent while I was asleep, and I am more awake now that I see who it's from.

Chris: Libby told me that you're coming back to Boston to visit soon. Can I see you?

Is that even a question?

My fingers are a jumbled mess, even though I only type back my reply and send it to him.

Tam: Yeah, I'd like that a lot x