So High School (Chris Evans) 18+

33

I left the Tyler card on the table by Chris's side of the bed. Just to show that I still have it, or at least did. Now I'm back in the UK for three weeks to visit my parents. I did feel guilty leaving Dodger with Lisa, but I needed to come back home for a while - especially after the tense conversation between Chris and I. We've exchanged a couple of texts but that's it. Right now I think we both need time to think.

"You've got a slight twang to your accent now". Dad notes as we sit at the table one morning at breakfast. "I thought I was going mad but it's more  noticeable today".

"That's what I get for living in Boston". I say.

"Are you enjoying it though? You haven't really said much about Chris since you came back? Is everything alright?" Mum asks as she sits down with her tea and sips at it

I nod. "It's ok. He's just away a lot that's all".

"He'll be at Cody's wedding though, won't he?"

"Yeah but I think he's gotta head back the next morning". I say, vaguely remembering that Chris had said it clashes a little with filming, but he's managed to make it work.

I'd really like it if he  could "make it work" for me and other things.

"And your friends still don't know you're married?" Mum now says. I shake my head.

"Nope. No one other than family and the people at the wedding. My friends know I have a 'boyfriend' but that's it".

"And how are you when Chris is away?" Mum now asks the million dollar question - and something tells me that she can sense a divide somewhere.

I just shrug and look at my mug. "I just get on with work and walk Dodger..." I meet her eye. "We, er...well things are strained at the moment - and I don't think they're going to get any better. It was a risk getting married so soon but..." I trail off. How can I tell her about everything?

"And what's the cause of it?" Mum asks. I have her full attention for sure.

"Just that I sometimes struggle with the fact that I can't just wear my wedding ring properly. That I can't tell people the truth and just be me. He's away a hell of a lot and I guess leading a false life just to keep the media away from us, and then the big reason is that I just want a family and he doesn't think the time is right yet".

Mum smiles weakly. "I guess seeing Libby as happy as she has been hasn't helped".

"I wouldn't say that, because I love Lib and really am thrilled that I've got a kid to spoil, even if it's not my own. So I suppose that makes up for it". I shrug it off like it's no big deal at all. "It just means I'm here waiting for a few more years and it's years that I know will kill me, because I want it so much".

"Does he?"

"He does but like I said, he doesn't think the time is right while he's away a lot and committed. He's contracted with Marvel for a certain amount of films so by the time we even get anywhere it's gonna be like 2018. I can't wait that long".

Mum cradles her mug in her hands. "and so you've told him and it's caused tension".

"To say the least. I needed to come back and clear my head. It's not exactly something I can talk to Lisa about".

"No that's understandable. So have you spoken to him at all since then?"

I shake my head. "The odd text, but that's it. We just need time to get our heads together, me more so. I'm not sure what I want to do".

If it's going to be where we can't work it out, then I guess the road I thought I would never go down is the path to take.

"I would think seriously about it instead of making a snap decision. You both need to sit down and talk about it for a start". Mum tells me what I already know. "He loves you, and I know he wouldn't want you to split".

"Do you think I'm being selfish? Wanting it so bad that I just keep going on".

"Not at all, but even you know that this is worth saving. When's he back home?"

"He's got another good few weeks away before I even see him again". And it feels like a lifetime.

I miss him like mad, even with our differences. Now I guess it's just a case of waiting until he's home to see whether we can work things out.