So High School (Chris Evans) 18+

17

"Your house is beautiful". I say as Chris finishes showing me around. It's big, and I wonder whether he gets a little lonely here by himself, but when Scott is in town he's always here as well as Lisa when Chris is taking time off. He's still near to family, but he's also got some solitude.

"Brought it with the intension of one day having a family here, but I haven't had time to get around to that part". He laughs nervously. "and I need to renovate the kitchen really, I still haven't got around to that either".

"Got any kind of design or style in mind?" I ask as we sit down outside by the pool.

He shrugs. "Not sure to be honest. I'm not good with that kind of stuff, I tend to just look at a few things someone's drawn up, pick some colours..." he then looks to me, "ooooor..."

"Chriiiiiis". I drag out with a knowing smile. "What's my job again?"

He chuckles low in such a Boston way that I go weak at the knees. "I couldn't ask that of you. You're here on vacation".

"And you need some interior design inspiration. Offer's there if you wanna take it".

"Yeah but spending time with you, you shouldn't be working, we should be having fun". He tells me.

I smile. "Well I can help you pick out a colour palette or something".

"Ok, fine". He agrees and we talk about what things he's got upcoming. He can't say much about the Avengers as Marvel will bury him if he breathes a word about anything yet to come. But he can tell me about the awards shows he's got to go to and stuff. It all sounds chaotic compared to my boring life. And now I state this to him. "Your life is anything but boring, Tam". He says. "For a start I'm here".

"Alright mr smug". I playfully backhand slap him across his chest. He's solid, even when I've hugged him all those times since being back I never noticed until now. "Libby's trying to convince me to finally move out here".

He smirks at this. "You do realise I'm probably gonna be convincing you too?"

"I had a feeling, yeah". I say and stare at the pool. "I don't know. I've obviously made some shit mistakes. I'm just worried that I'd get out here and be homesick, or it's not how I imagined. Plus I'd need to find work..." The list goes on.

"Guess you need to think seriously, weigh up the pros and cons. I'd be the same if I was thinking of relocating to the UK".

I snort. "You're Boston through and through. I don't ever see you leaving".

"I lived in New York and LA" He reminds me, "But yeah, nothing compares to here".

He's right though. I do need to weigh up my options and consider the pros and cons. It would be a very costly mistake if I found I didn't like it. But I don't know unless I actually do it. "Would you be happy...if I was to move out there that is?" I ask him.

"That even a question Tam?" He smiles. "But I'm not gonna force you into something you're unsure about. I'm guessing he did that a lot?" I nod and he looks at me seriously. "I wanna help you get past it all, get you back to the old Tam. Have you considered going to to therapy?"

"I don't know. I guess my outlook on it was to just get on with my life as best as I could and try to move on by doing what I should have done. But I look at myself in the mirror like I this morning and still see the impact he had on me. Go on...tell me I still look ill".

He puts an arm around me. "You look better than when you did at Thanksgiving, but you still have a way to go. Look, I know this might sound a little douchey? But I've got a nutritionist who might be able to help. Build your body back up and stuff, not break it like he has".

"I just wonder why he wanted me looking the way he did? Was he so insecure that other people would look at me or something?"

Chris sighs. "I think it was more about just who was looking at you, at least that's the vibe I got anyway. He wanted to make you look unappealing, cut you off from everyone so he could make you wait on him hand and foot".

"He expected me to give up my job so I could stay home and play housewife". I shake my head. "He even wanted to take away that last bit of freedom from me".

"Yeah, but you got your freedom back. You're here, and you have the opportunity to make it permanent if you wanted to. You can do whatever you want with no one to stop you".

I want to do whatever I want, and with you, but I'm so scared that it could be a big mistake.

**

I actually have enjoyed spending the day hanging out at Chris's. He was worried that it would be boring for me but I've liked the calm and relaxation that just chilling watching films has brought. He's made me forget about the shit that's gone on, and being here with him is like being in a happy little bubble for just us. 

"You remember that night we went to Blockbuster after Cody bailed on us to go get laid?" He laughs as we exchange memories of that summer and just growing up in the 90's in general. 

"I mean, it was a better night without him to be honest". I admit and sigh. "Sometimes certain songs come on from around that time and I always think of here. Back then in general everything just seemed better, easier..." 

He sits up. "Close your eyes". 

"Why?" I frown. 

"Just do it". 

I do. 

"Ok, now think back to that summer, sun's going down, we're outside ma's under that tree sitting there talking about anything we could, street lights haven't come on yet and it's just peaceful. No obligations, no rushing. No cell phones or social media to distract us. Trees, birds...it's just you and me..." 

I can't help but smile as I now picture it, because we did tend to spend a lot of time sat in his front yard together when Cody and Libby were out. I can't help but get a little emotional, because such simple things really have left a lasting impact. "It was the best..." I manage to say and swallow the lump in my throat as I open my eyes again. 

"It was, because you made it that for me". He says, still looking at me. "I didn't mean to get you upset". 

I brush it off. "I cry at anything these days, but I think about back then a lot - and I know if I was given a chance to go back for one day. I'd take it". 

Chris agrees. "Yeah...me too". We move in but both stop ourselves before anything goes too far. "Am I ever gonna get to kiss you again Tam?" He asks, and I know he's being serious. 

I look at him, nodding so that he knows that there is a chance. 

"One day".