If I were a human, would you still love me?

Chapter 89. Confessions.

Lets revert back a bit, shall we?

We all shut off our controllers, shutting the game down. Clara then let herself fall backwards on the floor, sighing. I stretched, standing up while Asmodeus looked out the window. We had been playing games for about one and a half hours, and were satisfied with the progress we made, even though we would likely never be playing here again. I doubt Clara will visit Asmodeus after im gone and even if that wasn't the case we would never be finishing the same game.

After stretching I also let myself fall backwards, Asmodeus following my lead a few seconds after. "That was a fun game.." I said, laughing. It felt really odd playing games with people you know you wouldn't be seeing again. It made me feel incredibly helpless, as if I had to travel the whole world when only given three day's worth time. Thats how much time I have left before I have to leave, before I'll be taken away, before this entire new world will be abandoned, unable to be explored.

But yet, I felt a sense of happiness, of joy. It made me feel happy, just being able to spend time with them a little longer, just being able to do something as simple as playing or eating with them, just having fun, even if seeing either of their beautiful faces made me want to burst out into tears every second.

I just love them too much..

I sat up again, before feeling tears running down my cheeks. I touched my cheek slightly, looking at the salty water on my fingertips. I didn't understand why I was crying, after all, wasn't I having fun? I mean, am I not still having fun? So why- "Iruma?" Clara and Asmodeus asked in unison. "Why are you crying?" Clara added, while Asmodeus had sat up, pulling a hand over my shoulder. "Whats wrong?" Asmodeus asked. "Is something not to your liking?" He then added. I nodded. Yeah, something isn't to my liking, I don't like it at all. It feels aweful, so, so goddamn aweful.

"Yeah.." I said, wiping my tears away. "I hate it.." I then continued. Clara also sat up, both her and Asmodeus's face paling. Both of them where quiet, waiting for me to continue. I sighed, not knowing how to say it, I mean, ive never said the words before, nor ever recited them in my head. But how can talking about your own feelings ever be easy? It never is, even if its about your happiness or drawing boundaries. It never has been for me.

"I just.." I said, taking another deep breath.

But these people wait for me, they don't care if its hard for me to say, they aren't upset with that, they'll wait endlessly. And thats hard too. "I just, I hate not being able to tell you guys about the things happening.." I sobbed, wiping my tears away. Asmodeus and Clara softened up a bit hearing that, Clara now having put her own hand around me. "..I want to tell you guys about it so badly.. everything hurts.." I cried, looking down at the floor in embarrassment. I didn't want these people, who loved me so much, to worry about me, I don't want to hurt them, I don't want to be a bother. And I know they don't think of me like that, I know they don't, but it feels so wrong.

Asmodeus loosened his grip on my shoulders, before tightening it and pulling me into a hug. After that Clara immediately pounced on me, hugging me with both her arms aswell while I cried in their arms. "I have so much I want to tell you guys.. but I might not ever have the chance to tell you guys.." I then cried, feeling like my whole world came hurling down. Asmodeus then let go of me with one of his hands, wiping my tears with the other while he held me against his. Clara then patted my head, both of them trying to calm me down, not knowing how to. But they still tried, and it was so adorable, but hurt so much.

I don't wanna lose these people, I don't ever want to. Clara and Asmodeus, they are my best friends, my soulmates, they are the reason this netherworld became so much fun. They are the reason I go to school with a smile, they are the reason I feel comfortable being myself even though I am not that interesting of a person, they tolerate me even if I don't know anything about this world, they even helped teach me about it. And they never once gave up on me. Im so fucking scared..!