Maybe This Time

Chapter 25: Don't Worry About Me

Ella POV

It's been a year and a month since I came to NZ. As usual, puro trabaho pa din and today I came home around 10 PM.

"Pots kain na" aya ni ate Thea.

Kakain na sana ako when a video call notif flashed on my phone. "Te, tumatawag si ate Joyce sagutin ko lang muna". Kaya pumasok muna ako sa kwarto ko.

As soon as I accepted the call and kita kong mugto ang mata ni ate, I knew something was up.

"Te anong nangyari?"

Hindi niya masabi sa akin ng diretso but I knew things were serious because sa background maririnig ko na nasa hospital sila.

"Pots, kausapin mo na si papa" Kinabahan na ako. Parang nabingi ako and nag slow mo ang paligid ko. Pagkakakita ko kay papa sa screen, parang dinurog yung puso ko. He was in an oxygen mask, nahihirapan ng huminga. Napalunok nalang ako trying to keep my composure while I started hearing my family cry in the background.

"Pa, hi pa. Si bunso to. Naririnig mo ba ako?" Para akong nabulunan, namamanhid ang ulo ko. "Pa, sorry wala ako jan ah. Sorry pa... Pa magpapancit at siopao pa tayo diba... Diba pa? Pero pa.. Pero kung d-di m-muna kaya.. Pa ok na ako. Ok na pa, pahinga ka na... Mahal na mahal kita pa..."

Pagkatapos kong sabihin yon, tumingin siya, and a tear fell from his eye. Then the machines started blaring and I can hear my family's panic. Nabitawan na nila yung phone but the call was still on. I can still hear everything.

For a second, it flashed back to when this happened to Aeriel. The same panic around, the same machines going off. Narinig nila ate Thea may kumalabog sa kwarto ko kaya dali-dali silang pumasok. I was already on the floor, finding it hard to breathe. Nataranta siyang hanapin yung inhaler ko and quickly went out after she saw me puff twice to get her BP monitor and oximeter.

Ate Thea was crying na while checking my BP, but me? Wala talagang tumutulong luha even if I tried. Until we heard the doctor declare in the other end of the line. Ate hugged me so tight at napahagulgol na siya. Yung mga luhang hindi ko mailabas, siya ang gumawa para sa akin.

I was just staring blankly the whole time she booked our tickets, while naghintay sa airport, on the flight, and when we finally arrived in NAIA. Sinundo kami ni kuya. Since we took connecting flights, more than 24 hrs yung byahe namin, by the time we arrived, nakaburol na si papa. It was early morning when we arrived. Diretso kami sa funeral home, mama and ate immediately hugged me and cried as soon as they saw me. Still. Hindi parin ako maka iyak. When they calmed down nag request ako sa kanila.

"Ma, kuya, ate. Pwede hanggang bukas ng umaga, wala munang kakausap sa akin?"

They were worried pero pinagbigyan nila ako. I just sat there sa harap ng coffin ni papa. They just put food in the chair next to me at kahit mga paborito ko yung dinala nila. Wala talaga akong gana.

More and more people came within the day, I can hear lots of people talking in the background, familiar voices. I heard Winston, Zia, and Lester's voices too just sitting behind me but like good friends, they respected my wishes na wag muna akong kausapin. They just squeezed my shoulder to make me know they were there for me. That was all I needed that time. Hindi ko kayang magsalita, they knew me inside out. Even then, they made me feel I had them.