Cardan & Jude oneshots

Wedding

Hello everyone. 

I apologize for the delay in this chapter, but I've been crying horribly these past few days. Reasons? House of the Dragon, Helaemond. 

That said, I'd like to announce that I've posted a Helaemond oneshot on AO3. I'm not sure if anyone here ships them. But anyway... 

This chapter is a request on AO3 that takes place in Chapter 29 of The Wicked King, after Cardan proposes to Jude. I hope you enjoy it!

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When I get to the royal chambers, I find Cardan alone, dressed simply, sitting in a throne-like chair.

He looks wan, and his eyes still shine a bit too much, as though maybe poison lingers in his blood.

"Please," he says. "Sit."

Warily, I do.

"Once, you had a proposal for me," he says. "Now I have one for you. Give me back my will. Give me back my freedom."

I suck in a breath. I'm surprised, although I guess I shouldn't be. No one wants to be under the control of another person, although the balance of power between us, in my view, has careened back and forth, despite his vow.

My having command of him has felt like balancing a knife on its point, nearly impossible and probably dangerous. To give it up would mean giving up any semblance of power. It would be giving up everything.

"You know I won't do that."

He doesn't seem particularly put off by my refusal. "Hear me out. What you want from me is obedience for longer than a year and a day. More than half your time is gone. Are you ready to put Oak on the throne?"

I don't speak for a moment, hoping he might think his question was rhetorical. When it becomes clear that's not the case, I shake my head.

"And so you thought to extend my vow. Just how were you imagining doing that?"

Again, I have no answer. Certainly no good one.

It's his turn to smile. "You thought I had nothing to bargain with."

Underestimating him is a problem I've had before, and I fear will have again. "What bargain is possible?" I ask. "When what I want is for you to make the vow again, for at least another year, if not a decade, and what you want is for me to rescind the vow entirely?"

"Your father and sister tricked me," Cardan says. "If Taryn had given me a command, I would have known it wasn't you. But I was sick and tired and didn't want to refuse you. I didn't even ask why, Jude. I wanted to show you that you could trust me, that you didn't need to give me orders for me to do things. I wanted to show you that I believed you'd thought it all through. But that's no way to rule. And it's not really even trust, when someone can order you to do it anyway."

"Faerie suffered with us at each other's throats. You attempted to make me do what you thought needed to be done, and if we disagreed, we could do nothing but manipulate each other. That wasn't working, but simply giving in is no solution. We cannot continue like this. Tonight is proof of that. I need to make my own decisions."

"You said you didn't mind so much, listening to my orders." It's a paltry attempt at humor, and he doesn't smile.

Instead, he looks away, as though he can't quite meet my eyes. "All the more reason not to allow myself that luxury. You made me the High King, Jude. Let me be the High King."