Dear diary- I thought I was happy

16. outside

"I don't care what you have to say! You all think you know what's going on, but you really haven't got a clue. The love of my life hates me, we have a teenager living with us whom Mia has made all my responsibility, the parents at work are horrible about my husband still, I cant cry at home because of Carly, I can't come here or somewhere I feel safe because of Mia. Mia won't like it. I hate it all so much. Sorscha, you know what? Let Mia just beat me till I'm black and blue, then maybe i will feel something, " she shouted at her friend. Sorscha grabbed Charlottes' hands. "This stops right now! This is enough, Charlotte! I will fucking hit you if you gain some common fucking sense" Sorscha shouts back at her.

Clodagh and Marjorie walked out and pulled the girls apart. "Babe, that's not going to help," Clodagh whispered to Sorscha as she sighed, watching Marjorie blocking Charlotte from walking out the front door. "Clodagh, just one second," she whispered before walking over to Charlotte and pulling her back. Holding her back again, her chest. "Charlie, you aren't walking off, so get that idea out of your head," Sorscha told her while trying to get Charlotte into the living room. She was sobbing while trying to get away from them all. Autumn caught sight of Charlotte and walked over to her.

"Charlotte, it's me, Autumn. Just me and you are going to go into the garden, " She told her calmly, waiting for Sorscha to let go. Autumn held both her hands and took her into the back garden. "What are 5 things you can see?" Autumn asked calmly as she watched her friend panicking and struggling for breath in front of her. "Not this now, Autumn," she said quickly, Autumn nodded at her. "Come on, you can do it,"

While they were outside, Sorscha and Marjorie found comfort with each other and their partners. Everyone was so caught up in the moment that that had noticed how much of a state Charlotte had gotten herself into.

Charlotte was currently led in the garden in the grass, while Autumn sat on the floor next to her. Charlotte started to go pale. "Charlotte, how are you feeling?" Autumn asked her. Charlotte quickly got up, ran inside and straight upstairs into the bathroom before throwing up into the toilet. Her whole body was shaking from the adrenaline the panic attack caused. Marjorie followed after her. "I think we need to get Mia here now because this isn't on," Autumn whispered as she sat on Winters lap. He cuddled her.

"Charlotte, my love, can i come to sit with you?" Marjorie asked as Charlotte opened the door and broke down into tears. "It's okay, you are safe," Her friend whispered while handing Charlotte a glass of water. "Im sorry, my love. I didn't want you running off. I didn't mean for this to happen. " Marjorie was honest and rubbed Charlottes back.

After 20 minutes, they both returned, Charlotte was in one of Reeces' hoodies. As she walked in, she spotted Mia in the corner. "I only got this on because i was cold, i can take it off. I'm sorry, I didn't mean for you to come back out tonight. Reece was going to drop me home in the morning, but probably seeing me in his hoodie and him driving me home looks really bad, but it's not, " she said quickly, all in one breath. "Charlotte shut up waffling. I dont care you are in his hoodie or who is dropping you home, " Mia said simply. Charlotte sighed before putting her shaking hands into the pocket before leaning against the doorframe, Marjorie next to her. "Char i needed to speak with you. I heard all about your breakdowns, and I'm guessing it's my fault. " Charlotte looked at the floor before nodding.

"Mia, I dont know what you have against me anymore, but i hate how I feel. I should be at home with you, but i just feel like I'm walking on eggshells all the time. I'm numb from it all. I can't cry at work, I'm not allowed to cry at home because i need to look after Carly, but the way you are acting so cold is hurting me so much, " Charlotte told her. "I hear you, Charlotte, but I can see myself in Carly before Roger, and I can remember the happy little old me. It cuts deep Charlotte. You just dont see that, " she tells her sternly. "Then talk to me, you dont have to scare me or hurt me," Charlotte blurted out before bringing her hands up, covering her mouth. Mia glared at Charlotte across the room.

"Charlotte, take one long last look at me because we are over," Mia told her sternly. Charlotte walked over and wrapped her arms around Mias torso. "Dont leave me, please," Charlotte begged, Mia just stood there with no emotion. She started to walk while Charlotte clung onto her. "Mia, please dont leave me, i need you in my life, you can't just walk out." Charlotte was now sobbing. She knew the red head was a lot stronger than her. Once Mia reached the door, she pushed Charlotte off of her and walked out. This didn't stop the brunette.

As Mia looked into her car rear view mirror, she watched as Charlotte helplessly tried to run after her. "Charlotte, come on, you can't run after her," Autumn said before picking Charlotte up. She tried her best to get away, but she was exhausted and just gave up. Autumn took her back inside. "I give up with her," she whispered, carefully laying Charlotte down. "She thinks she can run after a fucking car now" Autumn says, looking at everyone. "Mia needs to see how broken Char really is because right now we arent getting anywhere with either of them" Sorscha pipes up. "Guys I am here and I can hear you all" Charlotte muttered, keeping her eyes closed. "Well Charlie you tell us what to do to help because we are at a loss" Sorscha tells her. Charlotte looks around the room. "We all leave it. I'm single, Mia has gone. Its fine!"