Up and Down, Around and Around

Future?

[⚠️Vent Warning]

People tell me to look to the future,
But what future!?

The one where we don't have basic human rights?
The one where we kill each other?
The one where we can't live on our own planet?
The one that's already fallen apart?

I don't have a future.
I don't want one.
I don't want to live that long.

I made it this far,
Through all that pain.
And I'm tired.

We are not born to work, pay bills and die.
We are meant to live.

Let me be happy,
Let me live,
Or let me go in peace.

I didn't think I'd make it this far.
I don't want to be here.

They say it's bad.
But then why do they give me more reasons to leave?

Childhood was traumatic.
School was stressful.
It's all been a huge waste of time.
Now I'm supposed to work for others to be happy!?

Fuck that!

...

Born into a death trap.
Forced to learn pointless things.
Pulled away.
Told to sit down and shut up.

"Your not special."
"Your stupid."
"Your lazy."
"Your useless."
"Your ugly."
"Your fat."
"Your a slob."
"You'll never make it."

///

"You have to go to school, get a job and get married. Have a family."

<\3

"That's your dream? Ha."

"You'll never have that."

"You should be a doctor or lawyer!"

///////

I'm not supposed to be here!
I'm not supposed to feel this way!
I'm not supposed to be treated this way!

I'm wasn't supposed to make it this far.

Please don't force me to stay in this wretched place.
Humans have ruined it.
They are the worst species.
I refuse to be one of them.

Sorry not sorry.

—

I never plan shit.
Because they never work out.

~"I will plan to be a bum just to become someone!"~

I never made a five year plan.
I don't want one.

I don't plan tomorrow.
I don't plan five minutes ahead.

I just sit and rot away.
But don't like you care.
Your not here.

—

I'm emotional.
I'm unstable.
I'm crazy.
I'm not good enough.
Yet I know to much.

~~~~~

~~~~~

It's rough.
It's lonely.
I don't wanna be in this society.
I wanna live and love.
I wanna be on this planet.

But I can't be what I'm "supposed" to be.
And I refuse to be.

Fuck school.
Fuck the people that hurt me.
Fuck going to college.
Fuck getting a job.
Fuck getting married.
Fuck fitting in.

I just wanna be fucking happy.
For more than just a minute.

I made it through that pain.
Incredibly hard depression.

You weren't there.
You didn't know my pain.
You didn't care.
And you don't even bother to know me now.

You don't deserve me.

I didn't plan to make it this far.
And I don't plan on being in this world to long.

Society will fall.
Humans will go extinct.
And I'll finally find peace.

That's my dream.
That's all.

To be free.

🕊️