Touch Me I'm Going to Scream // [Stucky]

Chapter 22

Steve doesn't remember getting to the jet nor the taking off. He doesn't remember it because his mind had stayed at his apartment, thinking about what could happen with him and Bucky once he comes back. He catches himself smiling slightly and straightens his expression, reminding himself what they're about to do.

So far, the plan sounds easy: get to the helicarriers and replace the chips that would assure HYDRA wouldn't get rid of their long list of enemies in a few seconds. Steve has enough experience—with HYDRA and missions—to know something will definitely not go as planned and he has to be ready for every outcome. But it doesn't matter, it's what his mind thinks. It doesn't matter because he will deal with every possible outcome so he can return home.

*

His body is stiff, his jaw locked, and his shoulder is on fire. They're taking him and he can see his feet dragging along the floor. His mind is static, blank, foggy. It's like a morning in a snowy forest.

That didn't make sense.

The thought fades away.

He moves and tries to look around, but it seems a bad decision because there is suddenly an electric current whipping through his body and he feels his muscles seize up, his scream catch in his throat.

He hears voices and then they fade along with everything else.

*

Maria is explaining one more time how the chips work and where and how they have to be placed. He's got this, Steve wants to assure her and Fury, but he knows how critical this is and he decides not to mirror Tony's flippant behavior.

"Is it so much to ask you to act as if you're interested?" Fury questions with a side glance, his tone as flippant as Tony's posture.

Tony raises his head from his phone and pockets it. He directs a broad smile at Fury and it feels sharper than any comment he could have made. His feet stay on the table.

Steve waits for the debriefing to end, his fingers itching for his shield and his legs bouncing with impatience.

He wants to get out of this gloomy room and he wants something useful to do.

*

Metal bands enclose his face. They are cold and for a second he doesn't understand why this surprises him; metal is supposed to be cold.

It doesn't really matter, he thinks when there's a mouthpiece introduced between his teeth and he instinctively bites on it. It doesn't matter because he's rapidly forgetting everything that confused him a minute ago, everything that could cause a mission to fail.

His body trashes and his screams are once again the symphony while his brain is burned.

*

"Was that speech off the top of your head or something you made up in the jet?" Tony says as Steve finishes speaking. Steve tries to smile but the muscles on his face feel frozen. People are going to get hurt—going to die, and there's nothing he can do about it.

He steps away from the console and takes a deep breath. Tony looks at him with hard eyes now. They nod and walk away together.

*

A man hands him a gun and a woman is strapping a knife to his thigh.

"Man, he can't even do it himself," she mutters under her breath, but he hears her. She straps another knife as a strand of grey hair slips from her ponytail.

"You better shut up," the man mutters back, and he's handed another gun as he holsters the first one. It feels almost alien in his hands but that is not possible; the Asset is HYDRA's weapon and his missions have always needed the use of a gun or similar firearms.