Thoughts of Mine

i want it, i want you

Ever since I had my very first heartbreak i never thought i'd be thinking of marrying someone anymore.

Pernikahan itu terlalu sakral untuk orang yang kehilangan percaya diri sepertiku.

But then, here i am. 6.26 pm. in my living room. writing with my thoughts wandering to the future. the image of me, him, and our little us started playing in my mind. and oh God, it looks so beautiful in my head.

i never thought i'd be able to or even wanted life like that. not until he came over to my house this afternoon. 

he probably doesn't feel the same but when i saw him, i knew i want to learn how to cook his favorite meal. i want to greet him warmly when he gets home after work, give him a gentle massage. i want to be the one he looks up to when he feels sad, happy, dissapointed, or even angry. i want everything with him.

damn. i'm not even falling in love yet. am i?

i'm really scared actually. scared of feeling this way. because, what if he doesn't feel the same way? what if i fall first? what if my love unrequited? 

will i be okay?

because, some says feelings could kill.

but i hope it didn't.