Just the two of us • Lando Norris

(15) N E W Y O R K

Delilah Stroll
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ALONE is a strange word, people associate it with the feeling like no one understands you, like no one is there for you. They think that people who are alone are depressed, unwanted, weird. Some people who are alone feel like the world doesn't understand them, they lack understanding. They call it loneliness. They think being alone is terrible, the feeling making you hate yourself.

I think being alone is great. It makes you think about things you've never thought about before. When you're alone, you can do whatever you want. You can do that weird dance, sing in the shower, walk around naked, whatever, without people judging you. I'm alone often, but I've never felt lonely.

When i'm alone, the pressing feeling on my chest is gone. No people around to judge me, to talk about me behind my back. It's great.

But not right now. It fucking hurts being alone.

I miss being surrounded by the people I love, Charles, Max, Danny, my brother, Lando. I miss their faces, their words of encouragement and their presence. It's a feeling deep in my chest, Like an aching hole i'm unable to close. But i'm scared of letting them close again, what will they think of me, after I ghosted them for a month? 

Most of all, I miss the thing between me and Lando. I don't know what we had, and if it was even real, but still I miss it. I miss the quick kisses, the feeling of his hands on my skin, the way his face brought me comfort with one look.

Still, i'm not allowing myself to have the satisfaction of joining them again. They raced in Abu Dhabi last week, the last race of the season. I disconnected my tv. I didn't want to follow it. I'm locking that part of me away deep inside of me.

My hand find rex's head and I pet him, A sigh escaping my lips. My phone is still blowing up, everyone texting me, begging me to go back. 

Deep down, I want to, I want to so fucking bad, but my mental health is more important. 

My phone chimes multiple times, and I groan before finally picking it up, scrolling through the messages. Two new ones from Lando, and a couple from an unknown number. I press on Lando's numbers first.

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LANDO - DELILAH

LANDO 
hey there delilah, what's it like in new york city?
I'm a thousand miles away but girl, tonight you look so pretty yes you do❤️

DELILAH
stop
i'm not coming back.
whatever we had was fake anyways 
forget me

LANDO 
whatever we had wasn't fake to me
please come back baby
we need to talk

DELILAH 
stop playing with my feelings 
and no we wont talk

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UNKNOWN NUMBER - DELILAH

UNKNOWN
Lily
it's me
brooklynn
I know you don't want to talk but I must tell you this
Ignoring everyone, ghosting all of us won't get you anywhere.

DELILAH
brooke, stop.
this won't help

you changed the contact name to 'BROOKE'