Sunshine in her Shadows (Rosekook AU)

13

Trigger Warning: This chapter contains themes of domestic abuse, survivor’s guilt, and grief related to the loss of a parent. Please read with caution if these topics may be distressing.

Jungkook POV:

The night air was cool, and the streets were beginning to empty. Her voice had a weight to it, like she’d been holding back something for a long time. I didn’t ask where we were going, I just nodded. I’d follow her anywhere.

We took a bus, and she led us to a beach I’d never been to before. It was far from the city, almost deserted, the kind of place where the only sounds were the waves and the wind. The moon hung low in the sky, casting a silver glow over the water. Chaeyoung walked ahead of me, her feet sinking into the cool sand. When we reached the edge of the shore, she stopped and stared out at the horizon.

"Chaeyoung, it is ok if you don't want to share anything. I know how important your privacy is to you." I said, my voice softer than usual.

She nods a no, as if saying it is fine, and sits down on the soft sand, I sit beside her, waiting. The silence stretches out between us, heavy and thick, but I don’t push. I want her to know that I’m here and that she can take her time.

Finally, after what feels like an eternity, she speaks.

“My family used to be happy, you know,” she says, her voice barely above a whisper. “We were like any other family. My mom, my dad, and me. We were happy.”

I don’t say anything, just listen. There’s something fragile in her voice, something that makes me afraid to interrupt.

“My mom… she was the best,” Chaeyoung continues, a small, sad smile tugging at her lips as she touches her locket and rubs it. “She was beautiful and kind, always laughing. She loved me more than anything in the world. And my dad… he loved her so much. They had the kind of love people see in movies, the kind that is rare these days. We were the perfect little family.”

She pauses, and I can see her hands trembling slightly. I want to reach out, to hold her hand, but I don’t. Not yet.

“Then the accident happened,” she says, her voice breaking. “It was a rainy night, and we were driving home from a weekend trip. My dad couldn't make it because of work. But I insisted we go. My mom being the sweetheart she is, told Dad she would take me. When we were coming back, My mom was tired, and the roads were slick. She lost control of the car... we hit a tree.”

She closes her eyes, and I can see the pain etched on her face. “I woke up in the hospital. I had cuts and bruises, but I was okay. But my mom… she didn’t make it. She died on the spot.”

I feel a lump forming in my throat, but I force it down. I can’t break down now. She needs me to be strong.

“My dad… he was never the same after that,” Chaeyoung continues, her voice hollow. “He blamed me for what happened. He said that if I hadn’t insisted on going on that trip, maybe she would still be alive.”

I can’t help it—I reach out and take her hand in mine, squeezing it gently like I always do. It always works and gives her strength. Her fingers are cold, but like always, she doesn’t pull away.

“That’s not true,” I say softly. “It wasn’t your fault, Chae. It was an accident.”

She shakes her head, tears welling up in her eyes. “But he believed it. And I… I started to believe it too. I thought maybe if I hadn’t been there if I hadn’t wanted to go so badly… she would still be here. I carry that guilt with me every day.”

Her words hit me like a punch to the gut. Survivor’s guilt. I’ve heard about it, read about it, but hearing it from Chaeyoung… it’s different. It’s so much more real, more painful.

“My dad started drinking after that,” she continues, her voice shaking. “He was never home, always at the bar or passed out in the living room. It cost him his job. And when he was home… he wasn’t the same. He wasn’t the dad I knew. He was angry, all the time. He started… hitting me. At first, it was just when he was drunk, but then… it became more frequent.”

I feel a surge of anger rise up inside me, hot and fierce. The thought of someone hurting Chaeyoung, of her own father hurting her, makes my blood boil. But I force myself to stay calm, for her sake.

“I didn’t tell anyone, not even my closest relatives. Even if I wanted to what would I tell them?” she says, her voice barely audible now. “I thought I deserved it. I thought… it was my punishment for surviving, for being the one who lived while my mom died.”

Her words tear at my heart, and I feel a deep, aching sadness for the girl sitting next to me. How could she think she deserved this? How could she carry this burden alone for so long?

“Chae,” I say, my voice trembling with emotion, “you didn’t deserve any of this. It wasn’t your fault. None of it was your fault.”

She finally looks at me, her eyes filled with pain and sorrow. “Then why does it hurt so much? Why do I feel like I’m drowning every day like I’m suffocating under all this guilt?”

I don’t have an answer. All I can do is pull her into my arms, holding her as tightly as I can. She breaks down then, sobbing into my chest, and I hold her, feeling her pain as if it were my own.

“I’m so sorry, Chae,” I whisper, my own voice thick with tears. “I’m so sorry you had to go through this alone. But you’re not alone anymore. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

She clings to me, her sobs wracking her small frame, and I just hold her, wishing I could take away her pain, wishing I could make everything better.

After what feels like hours, her sobs finally begin to subside, and she pulls away slightly, wiping at her eyes. “Thank you, Kook,” she says, her voice hoarse. “Thank you for listening.”

I reach out and gently brush a tear from her cheek. “You don’t have to thank me firecracker. I’m just glad you trusted me enough to tell me.”

She gives me a small, shaky smile and her signature eyeroll at the nickname, and for the first time, I see a flicker of hope in her eyes. It’s small, but it’s there. And I promise myself that I’ll do everything I can to make that hope grow, to help her see that she’s not alone, that she’s stronger than she thinks.

As we sit there in the quiet of the night, something shifts inside me. I look at her—this girl who has been through so much, who has been carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders—and I realize something that has been building inside me for a while.

I love her.

Despite all the pain, and all the mess, I love her. I love her strength, her resilience, her fire. I love her, and I’ll do whatever it takes to protect her, to help her heal.

Because she’s worth it. Because she’s everything.

A/N: Double update cuz I missed yesterday. Hope you love it so far. Let me know your thoughts❤️