Behind the Sin

Chapter 10

Daniella sat in her room, surrounded by the chaos of her life. The pressure of final exams, countless assignments, and the mounting demands from her professors were all crashing down on her. The weight on her shoulders felt unbearable, and she longed for an escape, for something—anything—to take the pain away.

"Gusto ko nalang magpa-baby," she whispered to herself, tears welling up in her eyes. But the one she wanted to be with, the one she wanted to cradle her heart, was already in the arms of someone else. The thought broke her, and she could feel her heart shattering all over again.

Naiiyak na ako, she thought. Ang daming problema, ang daming pressure. Bakit ba sabay-sabay ang lahat? Bakit parang minamalas ako?

Daniella’s phone buzzed, pulling her attention away from her dark thoughts. The first thing she saw when she unlocked it was his face. Damian. He had been her anchor, the one who could calm her storm. But now, even his image brought more pain than comfort.

In the middle of my chaos, he's the only one that calmed me, she thought, her tears blurring the screen. Pero ngayon, siya na mismo ang dahilan ng kaguluhan ko.

Despite her best efforts to forget him, her heart refused to let go. Every memory, every conversation replayed in her mind like a haunting melody she couldn’t silence. What if I hadn’t broken up with him? What if I hadn’t been so stubborn? Would we still be together?

Ang daming tanong, ang daming what if's, she pondered, feeling the suffocating grip of her thoughts. Her mind felt like it was spiraling out of control, a whirlwind of regret and self-doubt that she couldn’t escape from.

There’s always a loud voice in my head. It’s so loud that it gives me panic attacks, and the anxiety—it's unbearable.

When these attacks happened, she found herself reaching for the blade, seeking some form of release. The physical pain was a welcome distraction from the emotional torment. As she glanced down at her wrist, she saw the fresh cut, blood trickling down her hand. Still, she felt nothing. Just numbness.

The phone vibrated again, snapping her out of her trance. A news article flashed on the screen, and her heart dropped. It was Damian, but he wasn’t alone. Beside him was Janelle Zualez, a stunning model and actress. They were always together at formal events, and now the rumors of them being a couple seemed all too real.

Napahawak ako sa mukha ko as tears mixed with the blood on her hands, staining her skin with the evidence of her despair. She closed her eyes, letting the tears flow freely, each one a bitter reminder of what she had lost.

Bakit siya nakausad na? Minahal ba talaga niya ako? She questioned herself, the doubts gnawing at her already fragile mind. Bakit ang dali sa kaniya kalimutan ako?

She bit down on her lower lip, trying to stifle the sobs that threatened to break free. But the harder she tried, the louder they became until she was crying uncontrollably. Her hands covered her face, her body shaking with the force of her grief.

Tayong dalawa ang nangarap ng magkasama, she thought, her heart aching with every word. Bakit iba na yata yung kasama mo na tutupad?

What’s stopping me from leaving them all behind? What’s stopping me from ending it all? she asked herself, feeling the crushing weight of loneliness. It felt as though she had nothing left, no one left to turn to.

Daniella’s world was unraveling, the threads of her sanity fraying with every passing moment. She was spiraling, sinking deeper into the darkness, and she didn’t know how to pull herself out. As the tears continued to fall, she wondered if she even wanted to.

Daniella lay on her bed, the weight of everything pressing down on her. The room was dark, the only light coming from the soft glow of her phone screen. The pain in her heart was unbearable, as if a physical wound had opened up inside her chest. She couldn’t stop thinking about Damian, especially after seeing him with Janelle in the news. The image haunted her, filling her with a deep sense of loss.

The emptiness was overwhelming. She had tried to distract herself, but nothing worked. Every thought, every moment, led back to him. The pressure of her emotions had become too much to bear, and in a moment of despair, she had reached for the blade.

Her wrist throbbed, the fresh cut still oozing a small trail of blood. She stared at it, feeling numb, unable to process the pain. The physical hurt was easier to handle than the emotional turmoil raging inside her. She wanted to escape, to find relief, but nothing seemed to help.

Suddenly, there was a loud knock on the door. Daniella flinched, her heart racing as she wondered who it could be. She ignored it at first, hoping whoever it was would go away, but the knocking continued, more insistent this time.

With a sigh, she dragged herself out of bed, covering her wrist with the sleeve of her hoodie. She walked to the door, her steps heavy, and unlocked it without bothering to check who it was.

The door swung open, and there he was—Damian, standing in the doorway, his face a mixture of worry and determination. For a moment, Daniella just stared at him, unable to believe he was really there.