Hanni
A year after graduation..
"I wish I could console you, Hanni. But I don't know how to." I didn't even turn to look at Danielle. I could feel tears start to form and I just wanted for all of it to end.
Minji is gone, I don't know where she is. She left me here all alone, I should be mad at her for just disappearing the way she did. Not even a goodbye text or call? Not even her own family knew she left.
I'm just depressed without her, and it turned out that I can't live without her but we all knew that. And a part of me blames myself for letting her go. I can't even be mad at her.
It's my fault, either I like it or not. I messed up.
"Has Haerin heard anything from her?" I asked and Danielle let out a sigh. "Haerin is her cousin, she's been trying to reach out but Minji changed her number." I felt my heart drop, why Minji?
Oh, and if anyone is asking about Gaeul. She's on my ass for letting Minji leave. I've thrown hands with that bitch more times than I can count.
I can't stand her at all, Minji left because of her in some way. She wanted to run away from her so that she could have that traumatic part of her life away. And I've yelled at Gaeul about everything she did to Minji and she claimed it to be love. Ugh! The guts that the rat of Gaeul has!
She tore Minji apart in the worst way and still dares to blame me for her leaving. I wasn't the one that pressured her to leave! I...I was the one who gave her the final reason to leave.
Maybe she was right, I was the one at fault.
I didn't want Minji to leave but I couldn't force her to stay either. If Minji needed to be away, then she has to and I couldn't do anything about it. I had let her go, but I could've held on again, couldn't I?
"Hanni...what if you try moving on?" I snapped my neck to look back at Danielle. "What? I'm not giving up on my Minji." I said with a stern voice and Danielle let out a sigh.
"It's been a year, and you know you messed up. What if Minji decided to move on?" And I felt a slight pang at my heart. Minji couldn't, she wouldn't. "You don't know Minji, Danielle. That woman will wait for me and I know it." I said and Danielle let out a sigh.
"It's been a year and she hasn't reached out, accept your mistake, Hanni. Admit you were stupid and go after her instead of waiting here. Find her, maybe she's waiting for you to look for her. So that she could see if you still love her." I let out a sigh.
"I don't know if you have realized, I'm still stuck with my parents. And they're already trying to set me up with the Park family, I'm going to kill myself, Danielle. If it's not Minji, then it's no one." I said and Danielle let her jaw drop.
"Don't say that, three more years and then you're free." She said and I let out a sigh. "It's not about being free, it's about being able to be with her. It's about finding her again. My mind is blank, Danielle. I don't know where she is and it's consuming me to know if she's alive or okay." I said as tears formed in my eyes.
"She could be anywhere in this world, she could be at some place we planned or just somewhere where I'll never find her." I said and Danielle let out a sigh.
"You said that she wanted you to find your way back to her. Think of somewhere you two planned out. I may not know Minji like you do, but it's either she's moved on or might wait for you in some place that only you two know." I looked down at my feet and I could hear Danielle taking steps closer to me.
"You look awful, Hanni. Look at those dark circles, and your chubby cheeks are slowly disappearing. And you're becoming skinnier than me. I'm worried for you." Danielle brought me in to a hug and that was enough to let the bomb explode.
I broke down in her arms, not being able to hold myself together anymore. It hurt so bad and I didn't know what to do.
I missed her so much.
I can't stand not seeing a single text from her on my phone. My heart is just completely shattered in to tiny pieces and Minji isn't here to fix me. She isn't here to take me away to a place where it was always us.
I just want to see her again, even if it's just a glance that would drive me to the edge of a cliff, just a single whiff of that scent that had me dreaming awake, to see those beautiful eyes that made my heart race. Where was she?
"Hanni, calm down." But I couldn't. She doesn't understand what I feel. She has Haerin by her side. That woman wouldn't leave her even if they offered her to live for all eternity. Haerin is there but Minji isn't here with me.
I feel empty, I feel like nothing.
It's like a part of me is missing and I'll never be myself again without it. Minji was like my happy pill, the one thing in my life besides Danielle that kept me going. She was truly just everything.
And I just wonder where things went wrong, or why they did. Me and Minji were so happy and now look at us. I'm here and Minji is somewhere in the world far away from me.
And at times I tend to think about how Danielle had a point all along. My love story with Minji was pulled out of a book, at first I didn't pay attention to it, but now? It's all I think about.
And I wonder what the ending would be like, would I be with Minji again? Or would I grow old and alone? I hope not.
And I truly despise whoever is writing my story, how could you make me suffer this way? Minji didn't have to leave me here! She could've stayed her with me.
And if anyone asks, yes. I stayed in touch with the Kim's because they're as broken as me. I look after Hyein most of the time. But she's like a replica of Minji and it just hurts so much.
"You have to be strong, Hanni. Don't do it for Minji, do it for yourself. If you're meant to find Minji again, then you will. But you can't break yourself apart like this." Danielle said as she hugged me tightly. "You love her, Hanni. But don't stop loving yourself."
And I couldn't hold back the tears that kept pouring.
This time without her has just truly hit me like a whip and it stings against my skin.
And my parents are happy that Minji isn't here. But because of their own selfish wants they fail to see how torn apart I am and it just truly angers me and at times it makes me want to pack my stuff and leave.
But where will I go? I don't know where she is and I wouldn't be able to look out after myself right now. I feel tied here, while my soul is probably out there searching for Minji.
I just hopes it finds her and leads me to her one day.
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Next chapter is the epilogue fr 😭
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