"I did not have sexual relations with that woman."
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The first time Don Whittaker heard those infamous words was on January 26th, 1998, when then president Bill Clinton went on national television to deliver his verbal rejection of the notion that a...
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Tuesday came around about as gracefully as Monday had...
Like an elephant tap dancing on oiled up floorboards.
Dylan quite literally fell asleep at the dining table the night prior, just as I predicted. At first I was going to leave him there, but then I realized that while I had taken the day off Monday, I was going to actually need to work the rest of the week.
And that required this kid to get a decent amount of sleep so he could wake up when I did.
That was when I soon found myself shaking him awake, before giving him the go ahead to retire to my bed. The anger in me did not go unchecked as I put his untouched dinner into a plastic container and placed it in the fridge. If he was comfortable going to bed hungry, that was on him at this point.
Next, I sent an email to John just confirming I would be working from home Tuesday, and probably the rest of this week. I didn't get an email back, but then again, by the time I sent it, it was going on midnight.
Once the kitchen was cleaned up, and the almost empty wine bottle put away, I made my way towards my room. Sure enough, there was Dylan now changed into pajamas and sleeping right smack dab in the middle of my king sized bed, each limb of his spread out like a face down snow angel.
I took that as a direct threat once I remembered what those limbs were capable of, which led me to quickly change into casual clothes of my own to sleep in, before walking both irritatingly and angrily back to the couch from hell.
And that was were I found myself when my alarm went off at five in the morning. Back pain, weak joints, and all.
Trying to get myself off this couch that just about swallowed me whole, was one thing.
Trying to wake Dylan up from his dead like slumber was another.
It took me so damn long, I finally decided to just leave him so I could get myself ready for work. After showering, changing, and fixing breakfast, that was when I finally allowed myself to check emails. John had approved my work from home day around 5:45am which checked out for his dedication of starting early.
He requested I go offline while I work, which I was eternally grateful for. This meant I wouldn't need to attend any meetings, or even log into my Teams. I think that was him taking pity of the completely insane news I was now grappling with.
He also sent, as unfortunately promised, a list of public elementaries in the area.
I closed the email as soon as I saw that list come into view. I didn't want to think about that right now, especially not when I had legitimate work to catch up on from missing yesterday.
And don't get me wrong, this day started very productively, and with much promise...
