"I did not have sexual relations with that woman."
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The first time Don Whittaker heard those infamous words was on January 26th, 1998, when then president Bill Clinton went on national television to deliver his verbal rejection of the notion that a...
Briefly edited but doubling back this weekend xoxo
Don
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... Shit.
This was... well this was-
"No way!" Dylan exclaimed as soon as he pulled the present from the box. "Do you know how rare these are to find? With the original packaging at that? Shit-"
"Language." I shot to him from the front seat of the vehicle.
"Right, shoot. Sorry. But oh my gosh! Carson is so cool for this!"
Those words alone pulled an unexpected smile from my lips. Every time Carson showed up for the kid, he did right by him. And that, well... that was-
"So did you read the slip for the Halloween thingy?"
That made my eyebrows furrow slightly as I glanced at Dylan in the back seat through the rear view mirror. "What Halloween thingy?"
"For school. We're having a Halloween Family Fun Night next Friday." Now that really made my brows furrow as I tried to pay attention to the road. "You said we'd go."
"I highly refuse to believe I agreed to that."
"Well you said the word 'interesting.'"
"And unfortunately for you my dear child, that means absolutely nothing. It's equivalent to the 'we'll see' but with even less promise of a future."
That made Dylan pout, something I was just working to develop full immunity to at this point with how frequent he did it.
"But it's a family fun night." Dylan insisted.
"And you, who is part of my family, will have fun." I insisted. "Speaking of which, do we need to get you a costume for this?"
"We need to get us both costumes."
"Dylan, I'm not doing this."
"The parents have to go."
That made me glance up at the mirror again, locking eyes with my hellish child. "What do you mean?"
"Well there's certain events that need the ok of the parent. It's Halloween after all."
This... I swear to god-
My hand whipped that wheel into a turn lane so fast, I probably pissed off half of this damn city by the amount of honks I received.
"What's wrong?" Dylan asked.
"Do you know how tall I am? And how close to this thing and Halloween we're getting? Finding anything in stores will already be a challenge, and online shopping for Halloween costumes is like rolling the dice. Why didn't you tell me earlier that I had to go?"
