Hobbit-imagines/one shots

The Full Monty-Dwarven style (part 1)(mature)

A/N: smalls are old fashioned underwear.

The sun was setting upon Ered Luin as people were making thier way back home wherever they worked. From a tavern laughter could be heard each time the doors opened allowing a new or past patron through them. Sitting at the bar drinking ales was Fili and Kili Durin, future princes of Erebor. It had been a long day working at the forges today...they both decided an ale was order before heading home to their mother, who was making dinner for when they arrive home. Fili sighed heavily..lost in thought and worry..not really touching his ale before him.

"Kili...what are we going to do?" Fili groaned out at his brother. "Uncle is getting to be down right unbearable this week. Hes been worrying over this trip hes taking us on. Going on and on about "Not enough Gold!"" Filis tone mimicked Thorins perfectly, then he ran a hand down his face in frustration. Kili just sighed heavily back..no words needed..he understood what his brother was saying. As they both were sitting there Kili noticed some tavern workers were setting up a stage at one end of the tavern...peaking Kilis curiosity, so he turned to the bar keep to find out.

"Whats going on over there?" watching the man cleaning a mug as he answered Kilis question.

"Oh ..its just the Chippydells are in town tonight and we are hosting them here." he saw the look of confusion on the young darrows faces. " You know...Chippydells..theyre a dance troupe that strips for money." he could see that neither dwarf believed him and it was confirmed by Filis remark.

"You mean people pay to see men strip?Why not just go home to watch their husbands do that? Its free then," the man just laughed at him.

" Well I guess women want to see something else other than what they can get at home." Fili snorted at such an odd notion, but Kili was intrigued.

"How much do they get for that?" an idea was forming in the dark haired princes mind as the barman scratched his chin..thinking.

"Well...lets see..its 5 gold entrance fee...beyond that im really not sure, but its gotta be good cause while these men are dancing, the women are stuffing coins down the dancers smalls or in jars that are situated upon the tables...and those jars fill up pretty fast after each man has done his bit." now Fili was curious too.

"I take it theres alot of women who come to this?" he heard the man chuckle.

"Aye.I get roughly 50-100 women for this kind of entertainment. It makes a really good night for me. "  another customer called his attention at that moment as they both turned to look at each other.

"Kili?" "Fili?" they said in unison..then they both smiled..having the same idea at the same time.

"I think we found a way to help uncle get his funding for this adventure." Fili nodded in agreement with Kili. " Just think brother..5 gold per person times 50..thats 250 gold, bare minimum...if its more than 50 were looking at..at..."Kili stumbled at the number.

"500 gold." Fili could not stop his excitement  at the mention of all that gold. Their thoughts were interrupted by a drunk woman sitting close to them at the bar as she laughed at what she heard them saying.

"So, yeh boys thinking yeh can do it?" she laughed drunkenly at them." Good luck. Word of advice lads..the more clothes you take off..the more gold comes yur way. Heck ..I would be willin to pay twice that if a man is willin teh go the Full Monty." she laughed harder..almost falling out of her chair then walked away..leaving them to ponder her words. Slowly Kili turned to look at his brother..the gears of his mind really churning now.

"Fili..di she say double the gold?" Fili nodded..just as stunned as the younger." Oh Mahal..thats...thats...1000 gold." the last word was said in a whisper. Filis eyes were wide at the prospect of such earnings..then his brows furrowed.